Me and my boyfriend have been dating for about a year, he had been great at the beginning and got me a bouquet of flowers every month. But ever since the beginning of 2025 he’s been acting distant towards me. He isn’t talking to any other female I know that. But everytime I communicate and tell him I want us to change he agrees and goes back to doing the same Hurtful things. I’ve had alot of my firsts with him, and I really believed at one point that I would have a future with him. I still wanna marry him but he’s not showing what I want in my future as a future husband. For example everytime I tell him something that bothers me, he blames me and says I was the reason why he’s changed he also always tells me to "just be happy and not argue because he wants a good time" after leaving me the whole day working or doing God’s knows what and sending me 2 texts throughout that day saying the same thing he does when I try to explain how much it’s hurting me. I love deeply and give it my all. I fear now he’s abusing the vulnerability I showed him when I allowed him to disrespect me the first time. (Comments?)
I think you’re both at an age where life is really just beginning, and it’s possible that he’s overwhelmed trying to figure things out mentally. It could also be that something triggered a change in his behavior—many men change after feeling disrespected or sensing a lack of love.
Speaking from my own experience, I’ve been in a relationship that started around 2019/2020, and now it’s 2026. I’ve been unhappy since the second year due to a lack of respect—my choices weren’t acknowledged and my boundaries weren’t respected. Eventually, I gave up. The relationship is strange now; we’re more like best friends who occasionally do couple things. The hardest part is that I never asked her to move in, yet since I started living on my own, she hasn’t left my place.
With that said, it might be healthy for you both to take some time, focus on your own lives, and give each other space. Just don’t make the same mistake I did—don’t give years of your life to someone who makes no real effort to change. Change isn’t easy and often depends on circumstances, but I truly believe that if someone genuinely cares and loves you, they’ll make the effort to try.
Thank you, ill have to bring it up to him. I just want to be loved the same way I still love him, so it hurts when he doesn’t show the same typa love.
Overall: if he doesn’t care about how his actions are impacting you, it will continue to happen in other situations
However I also need more info. When you say he only texts you twice in a day, what kind of communication are you looking for? Are y’all living together, do you expect him to text while at work, etc.
It’s normal not to be able to/have the mental bandwidth to text a partner back while they are at work.
It overall sounds like you are dealing with some insecurities in the relationship. y’all are young. If I stayed with the person I did a lot of my ‘firsts’ with, I’d be miserable.
We aren’t living together we live separately. We go to school. Yes I do expect him to text after work but he always gives me his last hours of his day and falls asleep on me. I’m always having to call him first.
I would dig deeper past the surface level of why the lack of texting is making you upset. Like are you feeling jealous he is giving his time to other and not you? Do you feel a lack of intimacy between y’all? Does this behavior make you feel like he is upset with you? Etc.
Overall, try to dig at the root why the lack of texting is making you feel insecure. The lack of texting is not *the* problem, it’s just a symptom of it.
But also he shouldn’t just dismiss your feelings. I’m sorry he does that and you deserve to have your feeling valued and listened to
He’s a life lesson. He’s not your future husband.