So I’ve been with my partner for about 10 months now and we have good sex for the most part. There’s one problem. He’s selfish so like my satisfaction or needs don’t really matter. Like sometimes I’ll suck his dick and then he’ll lose the boner just as we’re about to have sex (this doesn’t happen often or a lot but it does happen sometimes) or for one reason or the other we can’t have sex like we don’t have time or he’s not up for it or whatever… for example what happen today – after I sucked his dick one of our friends rocked up at the door and he was knocking I was like “omg quick just put it in quickly” and he’s like “no we can’t hes here” and I was like “Please!! No just put it in for one minute I swear you i just want to feel it inside and we can do it later” and I knew he didn’t want to so he started making excuses like “oh I can’t find it” like bro DO YOU KNOW WHAT SEXUAL FRUSTRATION IS?!?! O h my god I want to hurt someone (not literally relax) but like FUCK. Sometimes i literally start crying coz he just doesn’t understand then he gets the shits at me for crying but it’s like if he gave a fuck about my needs he would have put it in for just a minute like I was begging him. And other times he could just finger me or do something else like omg ANYTHING but it just seems like once his dick is sucked he proper doesn’t care about me or the fact that he’s giving me bad blue balls (I don’t know how else to describe it but you know what I mean). I’ve spoken to him about it and he just doesn’t care he tells me that he does care and that’s not the case but his actions show otherwise. I don’t want to leave him for this it seems a little petty but I’m desperately trying to figure out what the fuck to do please help. This makes me feel like absolute shit and Im already crying just even writing about it.
EDIT: I was not asking him to fuck me to the heavens. I sucked his dick for a good 15 mins he could have stuck it in once for me, it’d take 3 literal seconds. I was not going to leave our friend outside we hasn’t heard the gate even open yet only heard his car pull up, he actually could have just put it in if he gave half a fuck.
What about them?
My god. Just dump him. This is absolutely terrible behavior on him. If it’s been 10 months, and he cares this little. Also, he sounds like he has a porn problem (getting soft off and on).
Stop overthinking it, your BF of 10 mos. is bad in bed. He’s a terrible lover. Next!
What in the world? It wouldn’t be ok the other way around if she was saying no when company came over and he was frantically like “omg just let me stick it in for 1 minute!” and it’s also not ok this way around when he’s saying no.
The OP sounds overly frantic and forceful. I don’t think this situation is as clear cut as she’s making it out to be. There are a lot better and more mature ways she could be going about getting her needs met.
First of all, based on your description, your boyfriend sucks and you deserve better. I hope he’s a teenager because this is childish behaviour.
However, men’s sexual interest tends to drop to zero immediately after sex. For that reason, it’s advisable for a girl to get her needs taken care of first before the man ejaculates.
Finally, in this story:
>after I sucked his dick one of our friends rocked up at the door and he was knocking I was like “omg quick just put it in quickly” and he’s like “no we can’t he here” and I was like “Please!! No just put it in for one minute I swear you i just want to feel it inside and we can do it later
This is the one point in your post where you sound unreasonable. There’s a knock at the door, it’s perfectly reasonable to stop sexual activity and answer the door. I get that it would frustrate you, but sometimes life interrupts sex. If your kid walks into the bedroom, you don’t go “please just put it in for one minute the kid will be fine”. You deal with the interruption and you finish later.
Good balanced thoughts. Thanks for the mature comments.
Absolutely agree. Like I get some people get off on exhibition/thrill of not getting caught etc. BUT, when you have a 3rd person come over explicitly to see you and is unaware/unconsenting to what’s going on, that’s not ok.
Also her begging/trying to coerce him into putting it in when he keeps saying no, would be borderline SA. Flip the roles, the girls saying no and the guy keeps trying to pressure her, that’s not ok. So why the fuck is it ok for her to do it to her boyfriend?
>This is the one point
This is literally her only point. Everything else is people making assumptions because he goes soft “sometimes”.
OP needs an editor and to expand on her thoughts here.
If he’s not caring about your needs and/or you guys aren’t sexually compatible then break up with him.
However, I can acknowledge how funny Reddit is. You’re probably gonna get a lot of support on this. But if a guy posted that he told his gf “omg quick just put it in quickly”, and she said no, and then the guy said “Please! No just put it in for one minute I swear you I just want to feel it inside and we can do it later”, how do you think people would react? Regardless of the context. Specifically women oriented subs? Or if he said “Just give me a handjob or do something like omg ANYTHING” as a reaction to his gf not wanting to do those things. The guy would be called a predator, regardless of his gf’s potentially selfish behavior. Just an observation.
Nah I kinda see the point for him to not do it this afternoon.
I’m sorry but like, you have company. Keeping them waiting to have sex is straight up rude and fkn disrespectful. And ngl, trying to pressure/coerce/beg him into doing so when he keeps saying no is borderline SA.
You’re not sexually compatible. Break up.
I am not in the mood sure seems like a good way to resolve this issue.
Idk, do you communicate in a calm normal way? The way you write this… it’s kinda over the top – is that how you talk to him?
It’s a super sensitive topic (especially if he’s losing his erection mid-sex) and you need to approach this in a very kind and calm way. If you’re screaming at him, it will only make it worse.
Also – you wanted him to continue having sex when your friend came over? That’s totally reasonable that he didn’t want to, so it makes me wonder what’s really going on.
A few things:
1) flip the script. Imagine he was the one begging or saying “let me just put it in quickly” while you are saying no. That would be seen as completely inappropriate behavior coming from him so please just think on that one.
2) you need to have a conversation about BOTH your needs. Understand each other
3) if 2) doesn’t work, then it’s clear you aren’t sexually compatible. This leads to wayyy worse issues down the line and best to break it off once you realize this and not try to convince yourself that things will or can change
Move on