we’re both in our early twenties and i make more than him. he’s been in a slump for a few days and has told me he feels like a failure, doesn’t feel like he can lead me and is embarrassed .but he sure has been liking other women’s post and following them… could it be an attempt at trying to feel like a man?
part of me wants to address it because i think it’s odd, but he’s already in a bad headspace so i wonder if i should wait
Get off the internet both you and him
He’s both broke and looking for other women?? Sounds like a real keeper.
My first thought too lol
Where are you in this narrative?
This is what he does when he’s feeling insecure? Not a good look. Plus, he’s liking and following women on the internet, regardless of this situation? Red flag on the play. Dude needs to get his priorities straight and also act like he is with someone instead of thirsting over women on the internet. Probably not a long term prospect if you want a serious relationship, not without a lot of growth on his part.
What kind of women? Did he follow Eileen Gu and Serena Williams or are they IG models.
Yeah. Like if they are posting things about finding a job maybe its legit. Somehow I suspect not.
The part of liking other women’s posts and following them is concerning. The only reasons why it wouldn’t be concerning is if they’re like professional women talking about something serious and nothing else. I think it’s important to address it. But be prepared to break up if things don’t go pleasantly.
Yeah my gf is an interior designer and has lots of guys following her on IG – she posts pics / vids of sofas and kitchens etc
I’d bring it up. Have an honest conversation. If he does that when he feels insecure, that’s not a good thing honestly…how far would he take it depending on how insecure he feels is the question I’d be asking.
Possible self sabotage.
Not saying I approve of his behavior. Letting his mind wander like that means he’s avoiding something mentally and is using the one thing that distracts all men. Boob.
I honestly am not sure how you could bring this up to him, I’m willing to bet he’s been defensive about it?
Unfortunately the only thing that can get him out of this is himself. He has to want to get out of it, not wallow in it. Has it just been for a few days?
What he’s doing isn’t good or healthy for either of you so if this slump continues a few more days it may just be worth ripping the band-aid off and having that tough conversation about how he’s doing and what it is doing to the relationship.
What should not continue however is his wandering eyes. If that doesn’t stop now or very soon, it needs to be immediately addressed as it is beyond disrespectful to you and your own emotions and the relationship itself.
Bring that shit up. He is being cagey. Don’t buy his excuse.
If you’re bothered and feeling like boundaries are being crossed bring it up right away. If it’s something to be tolerated just let it go. Waiting until a better time will prove an error.
Man, I’m so glad I came of age and began adult relationships before social media. This brand of drama sounds exhausting, frankly. I don’t envy my daughter for the world she’s going to have to navigate when she gets older.
Maybe this is me just being old and out of touch with modern social media etiquette, but I feel like we need a little more context about what makes “following” these people problematic.
Are they friends or acquaintances of his and following them is simply a means of keeping up with them?
Are they completely random strangers he only knows from being online? Then how did he discover them? Maybe they post content about a hobby he’s into?
I’m not letting him off the hook; it’s certainly possible he’s doing something he shouldn’t, intentionally or otherwise. But I think people have a tendency to jump to the worst conclusions first, and all these other replies telling you he’s looking at someone new are the kind of unchecked speculation that just makes me think of that State Farm commercial. “What are you wearing ‘Jake from State Farm’?!”