First things first I know that its a bad idea, i know the whole "if she does this to him she can do it to you" lecturer and I don’t want to hear any of that, I’m just confused and I’m trying to figure out what’s going on cuz my head is currently spinning and my autistic brain cant make sense of it and im obsessing over it
This is going to be a bit of a story but I’ll try to keep it brief, long story short there is a girl (20f) in my (24m) school who I’ve had a crush on for about a year and we’ve become extremely close friends. She’s in a relationship with another man but per her own admittance it’s not a perfect one and she knows she has to break up with him eventually. For a while now me and her have been kind of going on more and more elaborate friend dates and we continue to plan more and more extravagant ones to a point where she is suggesting we do multi-day trips just the two of us to another city, and even last week when she was in my apartment when we were both high watching movies she kissed me, multiple times
yesterday I decided to just ask her if she wanted to date me, it’s very clear that we like each other, she’s kissed me in the past and as she herself has stated she knows that the relationship she’s in will end eventually and I was just going to be like "hey, we like each other a lot why not just date"
She turned me down. She insisted that she was confused about her own relationship (but also kinda at the same time saying that she didnt feel it was unhealthy countering what she told me last week) and wasn’t certain what she wanted out of our relationship, but she knew she wanted this relationship she’s currently in to continue. We did talk a little bit more than that (and i can answer questions) but I left it alone and we decided to just watch a TV show together but sitting a decent distance apart… Then it got interesting
She initiated everything, she suddenly curled up very tightly in my arms, put my hand on her breast while holding it tightly, and I confirmed multiple times if I had consent to do that and she was okay with it and at one point she was even pretty much daring me to see if I could find the nipple poking thru her shirt. She turned to me at one point and almost kissed me stopping herself before doing it
I’m confused what’s going through her head, she already turned me down and has made it clear that she likes the guy she’s dating immensely and couldn’t see her life without him, but then at the exact same time less than 20 minutes later she’s doing stuff like this. Which one is it? You’re telling me simultaneously that you want to continue your relationship and then doing very relationship things with me
I’m very confused right now
(Don’t know if it’s relevant information but the only other thing that happened during our talk was I confirmed that there was another person in my life who had expressed interest in me and she insisted I should contact that person, and in the past she has gotten jealous when she finds out another person is interested in me)
EDIT:, okay not everything everything, I would admit that some of the things I may have initiated when we were hanging out on the couch, but I confirmed many many times if I had full consent and she was perfectly fine with everything that happened and encouraged it
she’s using u for attention
What’s going through her head? Cheating on her partner.
She enjoys the attention you give her and does just enoigh to keep you hooked and coming back to her.
“If she does this to him….” Fuck it your good. Best of luck bud! FYI the gyms usually open at 6am depending on your area.
Look up “Patrice O’Neal – time hoe”. It will explain everything to you.
this sucks to read. if you have any integrity left, and any empathy for how that guy might feel, tell him what you did. and stop associating with such low moral fiber people. it’s a negative on your life just as much. you are who you hang around
Don’t be that guy
She has a boyfriend and is cheating on him with you.
Don’t do that. It’s pathetic.
Had this happen to me, but both parties were in the 30s. So the whole “grabbing for attention” was out the window.
Trust me, when pushed comes to shove, these women will always go back to their BF.
And yes, everyone else is right. She’s using you for validation. You know what they say. Women punish men by withholding sex. Men punish women by withholding attention.
Stop responding and talking to her. You’re wasting your time.
I had to learn the hard way not every hookup is worth the drama. I get you like her but tbh, some people are better friends than partners. This girl is 20, playing games, etc. She is not ready for what you want out of this relationship.
My advice is to stop hanging around this girl you have too much feelings investing in this girl.
She loves getting your attention because she doesn’t have to put any effort into making it work. She can ignore you when she gets busy. She can spend a nice dinner with her boyfriend and if they ever argue, she has you to come running to. You’re convenient just as you are. That’s it. You’re not valuable enough to her as a boyfriend.
i would wager $100 that you will really regret your actions in about 5 years time
She’s 20.
If she does happen to date you, who’s couch will she end up flirting on next? She doesn’t sound like girlfriend material.