Original post here: [AITA for not allowing my dad and sister to live with us after I just had a baby and their home was ruined by a neighbor’s house fire? : r/AmItheAsshole](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/1qu42vz/aita_for_not_allowing_my_dad_and_sister_to_live/)
Update: Thank you all for your feedback, words of encouragement, blunt honesty, and reminders to set firm boundaries and to take care of my husband and son first.
I refused to allow my father and his medical equipment into our home. There were no arguments there, especially when it came down to the safety and cleanliness of my baby’s living environment.
The cat allergies became severe for not only my husband, but myself. I held firm that my sister and her cat had to be gone from our home immediately for our health, we couldn’t breathe. I told my sister to book a pet-friendly hotel room with her own card, and thanks to a reddit user’s suggestion to help her move along quickly, we sent her the money to cover two nights to get her out of our hair. We gave her cash and are not expecting it back.
Not ideal, but she is gone, her stuff is out of our house, and we are looking for a cleaning company to help us get rid of the dander.
yay!!
Way to go! I am happy that the issue was solved with no drama. Congratulations for your baby.
Good on you! I’m glad you were able to find a solution and stick to it.
Well done! Gotta put on your own oxygen mask before helping others. It sounds like your sister would suck up all the oxygen from your mask before using her own.
Good on you for holding your ground!
Get your HEPA air filter but I would not even tell sister about it.
All of your people pleasing doesn’t have to go away forever, but you need to use that on your kid now. It’s expected, even. Any time they ask for anything, remember that your innocent kid needs your time and attention and they need that money in their college fund more than your sister and dad need it.
Good for you! This is a HUGE step forward, I hope you see that and feel a ton of pride because you should. I know how hard it is to prune the people pleasing behavior, so the fact that you were able to put your foot down and stand up for your family AND yourself is just beautiful. Life will be a LOT easier once you get more used to it. Having my first baby is what gave me the courage to set boundaries and learn to say NO more often. Our babies come first, always! They certainly make it easier. Congrats and give yourself a pat on the back and an extra cookie or something 😉
I hadn’t seen your OP but you did the right thing.
Your sister is a nightmare to live with, ungrateful, doesn’t pull her weight. Her cat causes issues for your husband and obviously hygiene issues if she isn’t cleaning the fallout of having a pet every day.
Moreover, their house is a RENTAL and it wasn’t even burned fully. They still have all their stuff. It’s their landlord’s job to find or fund temporary housing or just permanently move them onto another one of the landlord’s properties if they have more than one. So they aren’t destitute with only the shirt on their back.
Don’t feel bad about prioritising yourself, your husband, and your kid.
I am sure your sister and dad will figure it out together with whatever services are available for them. My father has a disability but is still mobile but after he’s not very hygienic when going to the toilet. I would never put up with that in my house. If he’d want to move in even for just a few weeks, he would have to sit down to pee or he can go outside in the garden instead.
This is incorrect. Renters insurance pays for temporary housing and possessions. Everyone who rents should have it. Without it, you’re out of luck. It’s as cheap as $40 a year.
Try the Salvation Army for help with housing. They often step in with at least a temporary hotel room. Especially for a disabled person.
Awesome for you. You’ve shown real backbone and stood up for the health and safety of your current family group. You should feel every bit as proud as you feel relieved. I love it when a reddit story in AITA gets a follow-up. Thank you. Be well
Doesn’t the neighbors insurance take care of stuff like this?
Btw, Red Cross also helps with temporary housing after a fire/disaster.
FYI, there are special anti-allergen room sprays that can help you get rid of the cat dander & an air purifier would be a good idea, too.
If you use a cleaning company, ask them to either use a vacuum with a HEPA filter or a dust cup that they can empty outside, not into your inside trash bins. Then they should damp mop any hard flooring.
And make sure they do not put area rugs on the beds while they clean the floor. I caught a cleaner doing that after I had just told her that I have severe dust allergies.
Glad to hear it has worked out for you… yeah, sucks that you aren’t really able to expect any repayment from your sister, but sometimes family is ‘like that’.