My birthday is on the 22nd. I planned a birthday dinner starting the night of the 21st, thinking that day since it landed on the weekend was more convinient than the 22nd, i had a dinner, it became midnight at one point though by the time we finished dinner. I invited my close friends and was really excited.
One of my friends has her birthday on the 24th but was leaving town on the 23rd. After I had already planned my birthday, she decided to celebrate hers on the 22nd, my actual birthday, and invited many of the same people, including me.
What hurt was that she didn’t check in with me beforehand. She told me the day of my birthday but just adding me in the group chat with everybody else telling the chat she decided to celebrate her birthday today.
I had asked her months in advance if she wanted to celebrate together or her plans for ger birthday and i got no response. It felt like my birthday was being overshadowed. On my birthday, I also didn’t really feel supported or celebrated by her.
When I brought it up, she said it wasn’t intentional and that it was just a casual get-together. I believe she didn’t mean to hurt me, but I still felt dismissed.
We haven’t spoken since and idk how to feel about it anymore.
YTA, youre birthday doesn’t last 2 days. Shes leaving and wanted to have fun with her friends for her birthday the same as you. And although it wasn’t technically the next day, it was the next day
YTA. I’m sorry when you are this age you can’t expect the type of focused attention you would have had when you’re younger. You’re going to have friends with birthdays around the same time and there is going to be overlap. You also don’t have to celebrate your birthday on the actual day and definitely not st midnight. This is a maturity issue.
YTA
You could have planned your birthday on your actual birthday, and planned it the day before. Since you and your friend have birthdays very close, it makes sense that you would probably plan celebrations close to each other/the same weekend.
You don’t get two days to celebrate your birthday
YTA. You had a dinner at midnight the night before/morning of your birthday. You had your celebration and then she had hers. Why would she need to check in advance? What “support” do you need for your birthday?
YTA for planning a dinner at midnight. What???
Your celebration was late at night on the 21st, yes? And then hers was the next day? So what’s the problem?
I mean, assuming you remain friends, you’re going to have this issue arise every year. Is it your idea that whoever plans their party first owns the whole time period and the other one just shouldn’t be able to have a party for fear of overshadowing the first one?
NAH regarding people’s actions here, but I don’t really sympathize with your hurt feelings tbh.
Who has a bday dinner at midnight? Regardless though, are people supposed to celebrate with you for 24 hours? I fail to see the issue of your friend having an event which will probably start a good 12 hours after your dinner is over.
YTA and imo kind of self centered
Pause. You’re having your friends over at Midnight??? For dinner???? The logistics of that make no sense
Next how long is your event supposed to last? If yours ends around 1am, are people expected to mentally celebrate you only all day? She lives out of town… so that means she has limit options of days to celebrate given your friend groups overlap. If you get the 21/22 she can have the 22 at night?? I don’t get what your issue is. She isn’t trying to steamroll your event.
How old are you? I feel like this is YTA.
Do you really think you can tell other people when they can or can’t celebrate their birthday? YTA.
YTA and you’re being ridiculous. Creating drama for no reason. Good grief. You want a middle of the night get together, and there is zero conflict here.
>I planned a birthday dinner starting the night of the 21st at midnight so I could celebrate right when my birthday began
This sentence tells me all I needed to know, you sound exhausting
Also you don’t own a day
YTA
You had your birthday at midnight so the very beginning of the 22nd and she had her party presumably the evening of the 22nd so how did hers overshadow yours and why did that make you feel hurt? It was like having them a day apart.
YTA. So you had a birthday celebration from midnight into the 22nd. Then, went to your friend’s birthday party on the night of the 22nd?
I‘m not sure what the issue is. You already had a party planned. Your friend didn’t plan anything to compete with your party. She simply celebrated on a day that happens to be your birthday so she could have a little birthday get together with friends before she left town the next day.
You said you believe it wasn’t intentional, but still felt dismissed. Were you expecting a cake and to be sung happy birthday at her party? What bothered you so much that her very logical response left you feeling dismissed?
Call your friend if you want to talk to her. It doesn’t sound like you guys had some big blow out.
You’ve perched yourself atop an enormous ant hill. It’s time to step down, own up to your irrational beliefs, and grow as a person. Call your friend, Or don’t. It’s your life.
Main Character Syndrome and definitely the asshole.