First post: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/i1ni4op83j
Thank you to everyone for the advice in my first post. I’m really glad for it.
I didn’t end up buying my niece the ticket. Like I said back then it wasn’t about the cost as much as the experience that I wanted to have with my daughter. Like always we gave her her presents on Christmas morning including the ticket confirmation, when it was just us. She was so happy that the two of us were doing this together! We did ask her not to talk about it at the family dinner to her cousins, not because they’re jealous people no I love them, but they might feel a bit bad and they shouldn’t have to on Christmas. She was fine with that, and it was good thinking on our part because at dinner she was asked what presents she got and she didn’t mention the concert.
We had an amazing trip, stopping along the way for food, getting dressed, screaming our throats out at the concert. When we got back, we watched a cheesy guilty pleasure of mine from when I was young (Maid in Manhattan, please don’t judge me hahaa), missed our breakfast at the hotel, checked out a minute before it was due, and had dinner and lunch on the way back. I can honestly say it was one of the best experiences that I’m going to cherish forever. She’s 15 and has grown into such a thoughtful young girl and just typing this is making me emotional.
We actually did meet up with the family on New Year’s eve for the fireworks. Her cousins were excited to know how the concert was because she’d posted it on her social media. (I had debated whether I should ask her not to, but I went against it, its not a dirty secret after all, but maybe I could have suggested it). My sister in law said as a joke that "she’s the favorite child after all" at which my husband was genuinely confused and said she’s our only child. I don’t know if my sister in law meant to make a pointed remark or it was just a poorly delivered joke but I’m giving her the benefit of the doubt.
Thank you for the advice, I truly appreciate it.
Glad this worked out. SIL was way out of line expecting you to include her kid in your family event, and to food the bill. Proud of you for not wavering under the unreasonable expectations.
Nah she’s definitely the asshole in this situation
Happy for you and your little one. My daughter is only five but one day I’ll bring her to a concert as well.
SIL comments could be sarcasm or not. Don’t care. If she’s bitter about this and her level of audacity is always high. There will be second, third, fourth time incoming.
Don’t give in. You owe her nothing. Your gifs to your niece is your choice not SIL.
It’s a great gift and experience to do. Since kicking out my ex-husband a few years ago and getting to go to concerts again I’ve taken both of my kids to two concerts for Christmas gifts and my son to another one for one of his birthdays. Thankfully we have similar taste in music and have a great time together and have created some great memories.
I am glad you got to experience this with your daughter and everything worked out for the best!
Your SIL was trying to be passive aggressive with that favourite child comment and I think the way your husband handled it was very well done.
Love when you can call out someone’s being weird without actually calling them weird, lolll
You and your daughter handled the situation perfectly, and your husband’s response to your weird sister-in-law’s comment was right on target. Well done, family unit!
Oh man, that “favorite child” comment would have been a great opportunity to exclaim “Kevin! We forgot Kevin!” à la the mom in Home Alone.
I love the husband being confused because *yeah*, they do only have the one child, so by default, she *is* their favorite child.
What a bizarre comment to make.
And the worst one too
When I was 8 my dad took my sister and I to see the Spice Girls in concert. It was so much fun singing along and it was fun to experience it with my dad. Your daughter will remember this forever. I’m glad you two had fun.
So glad you didn’t cave and that you and your daughter had fun. SIL has now confirmed that she’s delusional and entitled. She is acting like anything you get for your own children, you should also get for her children. Maybe start giving her financial advice and clipping coupons for her. Not really, but she needs to get it through her head that if she wants nice things for her kids that is her responsibility, not yours.
You handled this very well. Your SIL is upset that she could not or did not give her child the same experience and is taking out those negative feelings on you. Blaming you for giving these special gifts to your child is easier than feeling bad about herself, even if she shouldn’t feel guilty about her inability to give expensive concert tickets to her child. Your young niece was far more gracious than her mother and seemed happy for your daughter. Hopefully she can be a good influence on her mom.
You stuck to your guns and make the most amazing lasting memories with your daughter. Time with your kid changes as they get older and you took an opportunity to embrace what she loves and share what you love…..no judgement on maid in manhattan lol you are a good parent & your sil shouldn’t make you feel bad about that.
I’m a mom of an only and my SIL had this exact same problem. She felt that because we ‘only had one’ that we somehow fucking OWED it to her to do (i.e. pay for) extra shit for HER kids.
Like, WTF? We planned and were thoughtful and worked hard to have the family we wanted. Why am I supposed to feel guilty and that I need to fork out extra to make nieces and nephews feel ‘even’? For children that I might love but I had NO part in the making of???
So OP, I totally see the subtext, and good for you husband for bouncing that jealous energy right back his sister.
I would’ve laughed at your sister’s dumb remark and said, “it’s not hard to be the favorite child when you’re the only child!”
I only have one daughter-in-law and I always tell her. She’s my favorite daughter-in-law. She jokes and says “I’m also your worst daughter-in-law.” to which I say “yep, you’re the worst and the best.”