Last post: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/4exke2knQy
Hi, thanks for the advice and verdict in my last post, it gave me a lot of heart and I stuck to my guns and was honest with his parents when I met them on the weekend. It went really well, his parents were really kind, and his mom especially was super interested in my work as a Rehab Assistant. After the dinner I told my boyfriend too how well it had gone and how he’d been really unfair to her, he said he too was surprised he didn’t understand that maybe she’d changed. In all honesty he seemed put off by how easy it was, I brought that up and he reassured me that he was glad it had gone well and apologized for suggesting I lie to them. I’m really glad I was honest about myself and am grateful for all the advice in that regard.
Good for you!
I fully admit Im suspicious as hell. but I wonder if its him that wants you to consider a masters and a different job, if thats how he’s been raised
I found out years later that many of the things ‘from MiL’ were actually just my ex using her as a pressure point
That might be true. Or maybe he’s just shocked his mother accepted his girlfriend as she is and didn’t want to push her to do more like she did with him .
Living with a controlling person who’s obsessed with academic and work achievements really sucks.
Personally I don’t see him asking his girlfriend to lie as him not accepting her but rather him wanting her to be accepted by his mother who has a different way of judging people. Maybe he’s subconsciously trying to protect her from feeling like she’s a disappointment , which he was doing his whole life when it comes to his relationship with his mother who only cares for achievements.
This was my perspective as well…with controlling hypercritical parents it messes up our normal meter.
I do remember my parents being so intense from a young age about being against tattoos that I was horrified when they came to my work and saw that my boss had tattoos , they went up to her and complimented the Celtic band she had and my mind was blown !! Like what!?!
It definitely takes awhile to realize that those types of controlling parents have certain people they save their judgment and control for ….the people they pick are usually family but sometimes can also be anyone so that also makes it more confusing 🤦
Yup. I’m not surprised his mom didn’t make a big deal out of it.
1. She isn’t her child. She demands excellence from and for her son.
2. It’s still early in the relationship and mom doesn’t know how serious this is yet. She might not be around for Easter lunch.
Ditto. My MIL said a lot of things that “Dad don’t like” — sitting in his chair when he wasn’t home, reading the morning paper before he saw it, several other things — only to find out after she died that he didn’t care about any of that.
I would have lost all respect for boyfriend. Hes scared of his mom and wanted you to pretend to be something you aren’t. He didnt think you would.be good enough for her. That isnt solved by this meeting going well. Something is wrong with his thinking. You see that right?
My mom was like this but she has chilled out over the years.
my MIL was like this. she did chill for a bit