In the past I’d fought social isolation, poverty, depression, alcoholism, bullies, myself, random people at bars, people in boxing rings, and medical conditions I’d rather not get into.
The bars and boxing bouts were recent outlets for what I really want to fight. My ex gf, her boyfriend, and the people she slept with who knew and lied to me.
I should self heal and whatnot. I’m in the gym, I work hard to keep my diet on track, and I’ve tried half a dozen types of therapy. None of the anger and sadness I feel have subsided. I’ve just gotten better at hiding it.
I just want my pound of flesh. Like I said in the title, I’m not going to go get it, but that feels like the only thing that would bring me peace. I don’t have anything I can battle to make the anger and sadness less. I don’t know what to fight and it’s turning into me being self destructive as I turn back to fighting myself.
Find a new girl. It helps or just start banging hookers. You can’t change the past, so find a way to distract yourself from thinking about it
You sound like an edgy high schooler writing in his diary.
Shit happens, move on, violence just makes everything worse.
Can’t agree more. Nothing but misery within violence.
I agree. Life sucks sometimes. Currently in a horrible place myself for a lot of reasons. But the self pity in this world annoys the hell out of me.
Fucking do something about it instead of complaining. Simply do what you can and if what you can do isn’t enough or you are barely getting by then take solace in that you did what you could.
You’re keeping yourself stuck. Do you WANT to move on? You are the only one who can choose to heal. Nothing, and I mean nothing and no one outside of yourself can make this choice or help you until you do. I know it’s hard and it can feel like you’re hitting a wall until something clicks. Decide who and what you want to be. Is being a fighter all there is? Maybe you need to experience a different perspective. You’re so fixated on what you think will help that you arent allowing anything else to. Good luck, brother.
The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself. Instead of trying to make things right here, go make them right somewhere else. Volunteer, mentor, do something for someone else who doesn’t deserve it, but could really use the help.
Living well is the best revenge.
Man you again? You need to let this girl go. She isn’t worth your life.
Join the marines.
Just accept and move on. Youre alive and theres a whole workd out there.