Men I know there is nothing I can do as a woman to influence change of this sort. I was wondering does a momma’s boy ever cease to be one? I’m 39F realizing I’m in a relationship with one 42M and getting ready to run. I was just wondering for those of you who were momma’s boy and realized it, what made you realize it?
I have a newborn with my bf of 4.5 year. I finally got a job in the same city as him, however, he has yet to move in with me and his son. He is currently living with his mom and sister and niece. I broke up with him a month ago due to him not prioritizing our family, always running back to his mom’s house cause he has “obligations.” He would go over there to clean up the garage and spend nights there.
He didn’t ask about his son once until right before Thanksgiving. He is a doting father to his daughter of a previous marriage, spoils his niece on a daily basis, and is always fixing something for his mom. FYI mom is not disabled, retired as a nurse and has a 34 yr old daughter that lives with her as well. I do get along with his daughter and she considers me her stepmother. I was nice enough to not be angry at him when he asked to see his son after 3 weeks of radio silence. He wants to try us again, but I have little to no faith in his ability to detach from his mom. Should I just cut my losses and call it quits?
If you have to ask, you already know. By that age, a leopard isn’t changing his spots, and an old dog ain’t learning new tricks.
If a man can’t prioritize the home he created, he’s not ready to be a partner he’s just visiting. Growing up requires leaving comfort, not living in it.
Exactly, the saddest part is that he probably thinks he’s a great father and boyfriend. Not having enough discipline as a child will seriously fuck somebody up, and if you haven’t found self awareness by 42 you’re just a lost cause at that point. He’s in the wrong but she is an absolute dumbass for having a child with a man like this, and the mom is terrible for enabling. Just a whole damn circus, I feel bad for the kids.
I mean I did but it took mine and my mom’s relationship completely exploding and I was in my 20’s. I hate to break it to you but most dudes in their 40’s who have unattractive habits aren’t changing from them.
Do mind me asking what caused the explosion?
My mom had a car wreck that really fucked her up and I live in a different state. One night she really irrationally wanted me to go there to take care of her because she decided I didn’t love her anymore and I was trying to explain how irrational she was being and then she told me to never contact her again, then she blocked me, and then she died like a year later.
They were in their 20s, this dude is in his 40s and already showed you he doesnt care to take care of your family so Im sorry to say you need to move on as all you are doing is delaying the inevitable. Go to court, figure out child support and visitations and find you someone who will prioritize you both but this time pay attention to their actions and how they are doing things before getting too deep so you dont run into this problem again. You are hoping for something that is impossible and are only setting yourself up for more issues so pivot to focus on coparenting and recovering from this so you are fully available for the next guy and can weed through the bullshit like anyone dating needs to do.
It doesn’t happen.
If he’s 42 he’s not changing, that’s just part of who he is.
He’s got to want to change. A wife and kid should be a huge reason to want to be a part of their and your lives.
At the end of the day, if the effort isn’t there, then cut the dead weight. He’s not your problem, he’s his own problem.
If he’s a momma’s boy at 42 then no. He’ll be one until she dies and even then he’ll be one. If you cannot handle that you should indeed split.
Hes in his 40s, that guy is locked on to his mom’s tit.