Hello! i am a 27(f) and new to reddit. Not sure how to title this or where to post this, but I need to let it out and get opinions. My now ex bf, 21(m), suddenly ghosted me and has blocked me on everything. I’m not sure where to even begin. We met on a dating app, and everything was actually going really well. He was definitely different from the other guys I have dated and just overall so amazing. I admit it was probably the bare minimum, but I was not used to that. We were long-distance, and we weren’t together for long, but we did always talk about meeting each other. One night, we had another talk about it, and he also mentioned how he wanted to go to New York for a show. (he’s into raves) He has always brought this up before, but also talked about how expensive it was. We would text and FaceTime all the time, and that’s something that was always brought up. New York and me. One night, we talked about it again, and I was even excited about it. The plan was for him to come in December, but the show was also in December. He politely told me that there is a chance that he won’t visit me as planned. I, of course, got bummped out. He was complaining how the tickets for the show and everything else were expensive, so I’m guessing he can’t do both? I then replied with "why go then?:)" and I quickly realized that was wrong of me and apologized. He became so different after that. It’s just the way he was replying and acting. He is a fast texter, and we texted every single day. He just suddenly stopped. I will admit that I am kinda crazy and got worried. I blew up his phone and contacted him on everything. I even wrote the man a letter and sent it to him! Am I wrong for what I did? To me, it felt like he would much rather go to New York than to see me. I’m pretty sure that is not the case, and he just finally got tired of me whining about how much I want us to meet. The strange thing is, he would just leave me on delivered for days, weeks, even! he still followed me and everything, just would not see my stuff or reply. Then one night I was out with my sister, and I was gonna check his account (like I always do to see if he has read my texts yet), and then there it was. he blocked me! I checked on other places, and he blocked me there, too. I got a friend to check, maybe he just deactivated, but no, he totally blocked me. AITH for reacting the way I did? Should I still plan a trip to his state and surprise him? Try to get answers, or should I let it go? Sound off in the comments, please.
Energy is expensive. Yta only if you keep giving it away to this man.
He just wanted you to offer to buy his ticket. Once you suggested that he skip the show but still come see you he realized you’re not his meal ticket. That’s all. I’m sorry. NTA but get some therapy for the codependency and anxious attachment before dating again
NTA for being upset about him not seeing you. At the same time you went overboard and don’t you dare surprise him in his state. He isn’t worth the time anymore. Let him go.
He’s done. Leave him alone.
Honestly YTA.
It’s insanely creepy and disturbing how you want to “surprise” him and see him when it’s obvious he doesn’t want to talk to you.
I’d say he’s TA for ghosting you but if this is your normal behavior he may genuinely be afraid of you at this point if you’re spamming him and thinking of randomly meeting him without him knowing.
This relationship is long gone. Don’t contact him again
I get how it feels to feel this way. But for your own peace of mind, let him go. Trying to go visit him will not work and will only make you look like a stalker.
Absolutely not, leave this man alone. Paying him a visit ACROSS states when you’ve never officially met in person and were blocked on everything is pretty unhinged. Let this be a lesson to not invest so much energy into a person you’ve not actually met, anyone can put on a performance from behind a screen.
NTA for being upset that he chose not to come see you. You’re entitled to your feelings and it sounds like both of you talked about it a lot.
But you would be the AH if you continue reaching out or go and “surprise” him. He’s blocked you because he doesn’t want to talk to you anymore, OP.
It’s hard being ghosted because you never really get any sort of “closure” or answers. But this happens, OP. It unfortunately happens. Block his number on your end, and start the process of moving on. You deserve to find happiness, and this relationship and person isn’t it.
Date someone your own age
You weren’t “together” long, you had never met, but he was your boyfriend? You’re 27 and he’s 21, and you are expecting him to be mature and put you before what he wants? He didn’t answer you so you blew up his phone and contacted him on “everything”? Then you sent him a letter? And now you want to know if you should drive to another state and show up on his doorstep? I’m not trying to be mean, but this is not normal behavior. Let it go.
Ywbta. May I gently suggest some therapy for what appears to be anxious attachment?
I’d love to hear your version of the story where you show up unannounced to the house of a man who lives in a different state, has never met you, and has blocked you across every social media platform that *doesn’t* involve the phrase ‘and then the cops showed up’.
Hey crazy. What you’re talking about is stalking. You didn’t have a boyfriend you had a pen pal. He blocked you because you’re unhinged. Get therapy before you catch a stalking charge.
YTA.
YTA to yourself. This guy sounds like a scammer. Rule of thumb – he’s not your boyfriend if you’ve never met in real life.
Newsflash – He was trying to get you to send him money by talking about how expensive things were. When it became clear you couldn’t or wouldn’t send him money he blocked you and moved on to another target.