I work from home full time, and I have an old coworker, whom I have never met but spoke to a few times on teams who passed away. This coworker was no longer working with the company and I only started with the company a few months before he stopped working there.
Recently, I found out this coworker passed away. Although I’m sad for him and his family, there is a funeral on Saturday and I was not planning to attend. I was gifted a Christmas Event to take myself, my 7 year old daughter and my husband to, and would then need to return from the event quickly, get ready for a funeral (and buy clothes for a funeral – I don’t own anything nice to wear and am financially strapped), and drive about an hour each way out of town in winter driving conditions to attend the funeral on Saturday.
I was asked if I was attending the funeral by my manager, and had mentioned that since I did not know this coworker, and although offer my condolences, I would not be attending – I also mentioned I have plans and the drive would make time tight. I was guilted in saying that I should be going and that everyone else is going, and it’s a show of support for his family.
As much as I understand this, I do not know this man, I’ve never met anyone in his family, and I’ve spoken to him maybe a few short times on teams, and I have a young daughter that I promised to spend this time with. Now I’m wondering if I’ve done the wrong thing and should be attending? I’ve never been to a funeral before and the thought of this is making me incredibly anxious.
AITA? Should I be attending the funeral?