My birthday is tomorrow, I never really gave good birthdays for one reason or another, for my birthday this year I just asked for 3 things, they are a bit pricey, a kindle AirPods and a water bottle, I got the kindle for Christmas, the water is a bit expensive but I want that specific one because I feel like everyone at school has one , I feel like an asshole because I did some snooping and found out I didn’t get the other 2 things that i wanted, it’s not that I come from a poor family, we are decently well off but it’s the point of what they brought, they got me clothes, I am tiny for my age so finding clothes my size and my style are hard and they know I hate when people shop for me, I hate it so much, and they still bought me clothes in this aquamarine, this ugly green and red, I never wear those colours, so my mum gave me two of the clothes to wear tomorrow it’s like a tradition, the clothes were one to big and the colour are horrible, I didn’t want to say anything , they don’t know that I know about the other gifts but I just said that the clothes were to big and I don’t wear those colours and they know I don’t like clothes for my birthday, I could see my mum was upset but I felt like just so upset, my elder brother always gets exactly what he wants i just feel so upset I only asked for three thing , only three I just feel so upset I don’t know how I’m going to keep a straight face tomorrow without crying, but I’ll look so spoilt , I just don’t know what to do
In my opinion, you wouldn’t be the asshole for feeling this way. Comparing yourself to your sibling won’t help, and it’s important to be grateful for what you receive, but it’s also okay to say that you don’t want money spent on things you won’t need or use rather get something you require/want. As long as you explain it kindly, your family will understand.
Maybe just be chill tomorrow, thank them for the effort, and treat yourself to the stuff you actually wanted later. Birthdays shouldn’t feel like punishment.
You are not the AH for feeling how you are feeling. Your feelings are what they are.
You could have an adult conversation with your mother and be thankful that she tried but the clothes are not you style. The way you act makes you spoiled and entitled. If you act more mature, you will get a better response and maybe actually get what you asked for.
Say, “thank you and I really appreciate the effort you went through to pick these items out for me. I have mentioned before that I would prefer not to have clothing as a gift for reasons like this. I’m so sorry but I will never wear these. Can we please return them?”
Thanks , I think I will do that, I think I was more upset on how I repeatedly have said no to buying clothes without me being present all my life and the same thing happening again
Try communicating with your family members. Share with them your expectations and the reason behind your feelings. If you don’t like them shopping your clothes for you share it with your mother. Sometimes, they just hear it in one ear and out it goes through the other ear. They might think that its something small and did not register it in their brain. But gifts are gifts for a reason. It is something that are given to you. You might like it, you might not. Of course it will be great if you got the gifts that you asked for but if not, just move pass it.
YWNBTA for how you feel about your gifts. It sucks when you ask for something specific, and you don’t get it. I’d be less upset if I got what I requested *as well* as the other things that I don’t want/like/need. Don’t react in an ungrateful way, and try not to be visibly upset when you get your gifts, just say thank you and them tell them later that sadly the clothes don’t fit and can you exchange them for something that does. I know it feels spoiled to be upset that you didn’t get the expensive gifts you requested, but it’s all relative! If you’re from a more affluent family, expensive belongings aren’t unusual. If your family was broke and you were upset at not getting airpods, I’d probably have a different opinion. From now on, just ask for money for birthday/Christmas and say you’re saving to buy something expensive. Don’t get into a discussion about how it isn’t fair, and don’t compare yourself to your brother/other people at school because they will get defensive and it won’t go well. I hope you have a happy birthday, despite this disappointment. 💗
I am 50 yes old and when I was 11 my mother gave me an orange sweater that was so ugly I was sure it was a joke. I laughed at how ugly it was only to find out she really thought I would like it. I still think about how spoiled I used to be
YWBTA
Look birthday requests are just that. Requests. You got one item you wanted and not the other two. No big deal. You’re entitled to feel disappointed but crying or throwing a fit is extremely immature.
YWBTA
You got what you wanted for Christmas and you know it was expensive. You have siblings too that probably also got expensive gifts, gifts probably were purchased for friends, family, and each other, not to mention Christmas time is usually around the time bills are due. Speaking as someone “not poor, but well off” it is spoiled to cry over it. You are expecting each birthday to be crap and going in with that mindset and snooping for your presents to make sure you got want you wanted, you’ve already set yourself up for not having a good time. Not to be THIS person but a lot of people don’t get anything for their birthday, let alone for Christmas. You can be disappointed and have a mature conversation with your parents about asking them to at least not get clothing for you but maybe a gift card next time instead, but you can’t expect to always get what you want and then cry about it, especially after already getting an expensive gift barely a week ago. Maybe try asking your parents to get gift cards for clothes or even clothing items for Christmas and save an expensive gift for your birthday.
Ummm, you are spoiled. Be grateful for what you receive. This is a first world problem. Nobody today has humility or gratitude
You sound spoilt. You only asked for 3 things but admit they are all expensive, and it’s unfortunate but your birthday falls just after Christmas when most families will to pushed for cash. So yeah, sorry but you are TA
YTA- you sound extremely spoiled and entitled. Not a good look at all.
You feel like an AH because you are one. You snooped. Then you were very rude when given a gift. And now you plan to sulk and spoil your own birthday.
You don’t give your age but you are coming across as a very self-absorbed and spoiled 12-year-old. Gifts are what a giver gives, not what you demand.
YTA