Hi, This is a question i’ve actually had for years now. (I am 18, this happened when I was 14 and I have to ask if im the asshole for it because it stuck with me)
A long time ago, Id made a joke when they sent something french (Both of us only speak english) and this has stuck with me for years. I cant figure out if im rude for it, But I made a joke asking if it was another language. (Example, “Oh is that german” and its very clearly like, Japanese or something). They immediately got angry at me, and cut me off. I do not know if I am a jerk for this, but they called me racist and rude and a total jerk which left me really confused.
Today, my boyfriend (two years, ongoing) laughed at a reel with something similar on it, and I found myself confused again and spoke about the situation I had. He said it absolutely was not racist if it was LITERALLY that obvious that it was not that thing. Am I the asshole?
EDIT; HI im so sorry I realized this was incredibly vague, I am new to posting and not used to the context bits so much when I wanted help. 😢 Totally my bad. The now ex friend was(is) nonbinary so I refer to them as such for this post and only he/they pronouns. Regardless, they are white and I am Hispanic/white. I said word for word in my best memory; “Are you speaking chinese” to clearly copy and pasted french from google translate as we both ONLY speak english at all
Lol wut. Be less vague
tried to edit for more context! Sorry if Its not enough
This person just seems like a cultural white-knight in a sense? Imagine you truly thought it was German, unless there was some subtext you’re missing, I do not see how it would be racist to conflate two things that you aren’t aware of.
NAH
OP clearly states they knew it wasn’t German.
It’s a solid YTA because it upset their friend.
Did the friend know that?
Who did you make joke to? What was the situation?
It was a very close friend and over text, They sent me a french (very clearly) message. Something about loving the wind I think? I said jokingly “I dont understand chinese”, and they flooded me immediately over text about how I was a racist prick with no regard for humanity and that I should kms and stuff and then blocked me and have not spoken to me since, its been like 4 years
Did you have to translate all of that?
No great loss. If someone speaks of humanity and tells you to do that to yourself in same sentence then they arent the best of people.
Yes I did have to, and furthermore they dont even know french at all they definitely used google translate because this was in like freshman year. I just have nasty ass OCD, and its stuck with me since so I thought it might be better to just ask and get an answer thats more direct from a larger anonymous group
Who’s “they” who said something in French? Who’s “both of us” who only spoke English?
Are you saying someone said something to you in a foreign language and you pretended to think they were speaking a different language?
If so, there doesn’t seem to be anything racist there.
Yes exactly that, I apologize I dont post on reddit much so I dont mean to be vague but youve got it all correct
NTA. you are overthinking it.
NTA. Identify as non-binary AND easily offended on someone else’s behalf? Good chance they saved you a lot of unnecessary drama since unfriending you.