Hi everyone, I’m very emotional about this situation so going to try to take the drama out of it and just give facts. Please give me your honest opinions!
Just found out my sister in law’s bridal shower is landing on the Saturday that I was planning on being away for a girl’s trip to Miami or PR. Will I be an asshole for not going to the shower?
* I’m not in the wedding party
* I am definitely going to the wedding
* I’m not super close with my brother- we’re cool, we love each other, but we are not present in each other’s day to day lives, and same with his fiance.
* I’m a 37F with 2 kids so getting a girls weekend trip sounds glorious. I don’t know the last time I went on a real vacation, and I already got the OK from my husband who is all for me going.
* Nothing is booked for my trip yet BUT the dates are revolving around my best friend who’s a teacher and has limited PTO, and it’s sounding like the girls will be going on the trip with or without me.
* The shower/trip weekend is 9 months away as of now, so no urgency at the moment to do anything at all
I’m really worked up about this because my mom is guilt tripping me HARD about this. We don’t have a good relationship to begin with. She’s telling me that my brother and his fiance will be very hurt if I don’t go. I think this isn’t all even about the shower or my trip, it’s about my family dynamics with my Mom. I’m a grown woman and she still treats me like a child and wants me to do what she wants me to do. I think SHE is uncomfortable with the idea of me not being at the shower and is acting like it’s really about my brother and his fiance’s feelings. I talked to my brother and he’s not giving me a straight answer as to if his feelings would be hurt or not, which is leading me to believe the answer is yes they would be hurt and yes I am the asshole.
UPDATE: my Mom asked the bride’s mom if she booked the venue already and the mother of the bride said she can look into another date to accommodate me. I told her to take it back and tell the mother of the bride never mind, it’s ridiculous to change the date for me me- it’s not my wedding! It’s not about me! The date should be best for the bride. I’m very embarrassed she even asked, I don’t want anyone to think i’m making this wedding about me because I’m not!!