Hello I’m M19 and I don’t really know how to write this but here goes nothing
Hi M19, so my mother (F30) pass back when I was about 6 years old and my dad (M35 at the time of her death) was in prison at the time but when my mother passed I started receiving survivor benefits from social security and they all went to my nana since she got custody of me and my brothers. Around 2 years ago I got back in touch with my dad hoping he wasn’t the POS I remember him to be and he was doing good for a while so back in March of 2025 I decided to move in with him and since I was 18 at the time the survivor benefits where coming to me at the time and and deal was to let him hold on the the checks in a safe so I wouldny spend it all on stupid stuff and I trusted him (bigggggg mistake). So I stopped getting these checks around June, right after I graduated, and I’ve only used about 3 since I turned 18 (the ones from before I moved in with him). He wouldn’t let me use any of the other checks while I was living with him and I moved out for about a month because of that, then I moved back in. Mind u he wants me to pay rent to live with him even tho I didn’t have a job and he practically begged for me to move in with him. So I’m graduated for a good bit now and started my first job and wanted to use my checks to get a car or bike and he refuses to give them up so around December I go to the social security office to get them voided and come to find out all of them have been cashed via cash app (not mine). He doesn’t know that I’m he had used them now and I’m trying to keep it that wau. And mind u he wants me to pay back all the rent that I "owe" him and utilities. WIBTA to press charges on him for theft and forgery and sue him for the money he stole from me??
Update he’s also not letting me get my stuff I left at his house and I have stuff of my dead mothers there
Update I "owe" hime 2500 but all the checks add up to around 5000
I wouldn’t bother with trying to get the money back, he probably doesn’t have it. Just get him out of your life again.
Anyone who steals from their own child deserves reporting to the police. NTA
Why are you asking? NTA, file the darn charges!
Get it all under control by you only, then decide how to handle the situation. No question he stole,but can argue you signed. Really you need a lawyer.
Nta. I’d be pissed too. Talk to legal aid.
if you dad had custody of you when you were receiving survivor benefits, there may not be much you can do. My ex was receiving benefits for our daughter. When she turned 18, she had nothing from him. According to him, it had all gone toward housing, food, etc for her. 🤨 Good luck
NTA, but.
SSA survivor benefits end when you turn 18 or graduate high school (but not past age 19). So you collected a few checks after age 18 and before March 2025. Then your dad took the checks from April, May, and June. Your mother’s work history was only about 12 years, so the benefit would be maybe $1K a month?? Maybe less.
Your dad doesn’t have your $3000 laying around. He spent it. So if you file a police report, and the prosecutor decides to press charges, you might send him back to jail. But you aren’t going to get your money back. He might owe it to you forever according to the courts, but they can’t make him give you money he doesn’t have.
Obviously you don’t want to keep living with this leech. Find another place to live, and then tell him he can use those checks to cover the rent you supposedly owe him.
(Funnier, but possibly dangerous option: Tell him you’d be glad to pay him the rent by signing over those checks, then watch him squirm.)
NTA, but going to any kind of court for the money would be a huge hassle and require you to provide proof of the theft. If you wanna do that, go for it, but do your research on what you need before you commit.
In the meantime, if you have the ability, get a PO Box and change the address on where the checks go with the social security office. Or have them sent to another address of someone you actually trust. If he can’t get them out of the mail, he can’t cash them.
ESH. FYI, in no way is it ever a good idea to merely store a physical check for safe keeping. You cash the check and you keep the funds.
Thats why I’m saying everyone sucks cause he may be a crook OR he might have actually done the right thing.
Sadly, these monies are for your living expenses and he might actually have had a valid claim to some of the monies.
That said, good luck on your legal pursuit. I would seek some legal represenation. This involves SSA, you can atleast try to get a consultation with your local Legal Services Corporation (just search, covers all of USA) and see if you can have a chat on your best next steps.
NTA and absolutely press charges. He doesnt have consideration for you, so he doesnt deserve the same in return. Im sorry you’re going through this, thats horrible
Hi, lawyer here. A minor but potentially important point: There is no such thing as “pressing charges” for private persons. This is a common misconception. Criminal charges are investigated by the police, who then refer cases to a prosecuting attorney. Only a prosecutor – the District Attorney, for state crimes, or United States Attorney, for federal crimes – can bring criminal charges before a court. A crime victim, as you seem to be, can make a report of a crime to the police, and cooperate with the DA in making their case, but that’s all. You can’t legally compel (or refuse) any prosecution.
(This is, I grant, confusing, because police officers will sometimes ask people if they want to “press charges.” What the police mean, when they ask this, is, *if we go to the trouble of arresting this person and referring the case to the DA, will you cooperate by showing up and testifying?* In some cases, a victim’s cooperation is essential and the police don’t want to waste their time on cases in which this essential witness is not interested. But if there is other evidence available, the police will not feel bound by the victim’s wishes in the matter.)
The point is, you can’t unilaterally charge your father yourself. You can contact law enforcement, but beyond that the decision is theirs. Perhaps this will reassure you that you would be NTA for doing so.
Thank you for articulating this so well. I often try to explain this to people, but the part that I’m not able to say (which I will now say) is that when police ask you if you want to press charges what they’re actually asking is if you will be a cooperating witness.
This is also important because it sort of takes the pressure off OP about whether or not to press charges. OP can simply tell the police what happened and allow them to take the lead.
NTA
Please file a police report for theft and fraud immediately. Your dad is scamming you. Don’t let him.
Get a lawyer and the police involved ASAP. He’s just a sperm donor, fathers do not behave like this to their children.
First call the police to escort you to pick up all your stuff. Explain to them that you need them there because he has a prison record for X and he stole your social security checks so he is refusing to give you your things.
Then, you can sue.