Hey all. So I have been dating someone for about 7 months now. I have found my self falling in love with this woman and want something long term with her. She has a different background than me or my family and maybe not exactly who my mom and sister saw me ending up with, that doesn’t change the fact that she’s an amazing person with a huge heart.
My sister is getting married at the end of the summer, and I brought up a plus one months ago where she jokingly said “we will see.” My GF and I were making plans for this Summer, so planning about 6 months out, so I asked my sister about my plus one. Turns out it wasn’t a joke and when I confronted her about it she said something along the lines of “we don’t have a relationship, you shouldn’t expect to get a plus one to weddings if you haven’t been dating a long time, you’re being selfish and making this about you”
I have been trying to see it from her POV, but I just can’t imagine not inviting my siblings SO they clearly love. The wedding is going to be over 150 people, and cost isn’t an issue. I know right now we are still fairly early in our relationship, but we will be a little over a year at the time of the wedding. Feels like I’m not getting the common courtesy and respect a sibling should. This will also likely crush my gf because she will feel like she’s being excluded from my family, which in my opinion she is. In turn this will probably create a weird dynamic with everyone for years to come. My dad is on my side and my mom is staying neutral. My close friends I’ve brought it up to think my sister is out of line.
My GF invited us to her church on Christmas Eve which we attended, and she hung out with us Christmas Day for a while which is more or less the extend of the relationship between my sister and her.
I want to push back on my sister again to try to change her mind or WIBTA if I do that? I just can’t imagine treating my sister and her fiance this way so it hurts that it’s coming so easily to her.
I’m sorry, but YWBTA. 7 months is still a relationship in its infancy. Planning 6 months out is BOLD. More than that, why would your sister want someone at her wedding that she doesn’t even know? Maybe start by having, you know, your sister and girlfriend actually meet and start a bond of their own before you start pushing her which, by the way, won’t push her into inviting your GF it’ll push her into disinviting you.
YWBTA, for sure. It’s normal to not invited untied spouses to family weddings – it would be different if you two had taken the steps towards being long-term, like living together or getting engaged. You asked, she answered. Stop pestering her. You’ll know if she changes her mind.
YTA. It’s far too soon to do anything. Just live your lives and establish your girlfriend as part of your life. When the invites come out, if there’s no plus one then you ask nicely once and then raise the issue with your mom. If there’s no budging, come for the wedding, but leave early letting family know that your partner wasn’t invited, so you aren’t going to stay for long
YTA. I get your feelings about her but this is also a once in a lifetime (probably) thing for your sister and it should look exactly how she wants it. With the people she wants.
YTA. You don’t get to decide the guest list for an event you’re not hosting
INFO: how old are you?
YTA. Having a girlfriend is very exciting but it doesn’t make her entitled to other people’s life events. You will lose your sister like this.
YTA
It isn’t your event, and you haven’t been dating all that long in the grand scheme of things. Your sister and your GF don’t really have any connection, and you are acting incredibly entitled to make this your hill to die on.
YTA
This girl is not your wife, she’s not your fiancé, she’s not somebody you’ve been dating for 10 years, shes not a long time family friend. Shes just a gf.
You are being selfish and you are making her wedding all about you. How about instead of trying to force an invite, why not bring your girlfriend around your sister more so that she can get to know her as a person?
This is immature. A relationship of 7 months, even a year, wouldn’t warrant an invite imo
YTA, it is your sisters wedding and it isn’t about you. This is an extremely new relationship, and your sister doesn’t have a relationship with her. To expect her to go is unreasonable.
YTA. 7 months is like 5 minutes especially if they’ve never really met her. And if you asked about a plus one months ago that means you were together just a couple months when you were fishing for an invite. If your relationship is shorter than their engagement I think it’s pretty normal to not expect a plus one. They probably already had invites loosely planned out or maybe even sent out. I think it was fine to ask just once in case they’re real laid back and didn’t care. But you asked, they said no, it’s a very young relationship. You should’ve just left it at the first no.
You are not entitled to a plus one. Drop this. You brought this up months ago and your gf was barely a gf at that point. She does not know your gf, she doesn’t want her there. Could your sister’s actions be considered rude, yes, but it is her wedding. You will be considered more rude if you push this. Ywbta
YTA.
Look, I get that it’s frustrating, but this isn’t your wedding, and you’re not the one planning it nor paying for it. It doesn’t matter how many other guests are there. It doesn’t even matter how you feel about your girlfriend in this context. The fact is that every single person at a wedding costs money, and couples only have so much budget while venues only have so much space. This isn’t a personal slight against you at all; couples have to invite who matters most to them and make some tough decisions about who can and can’t be there. At the end of the day, a sibling’s girlfriend of less than a year typically often just doesn’t make the cut in order to make room for someone else they’ve known much longer and are closer to. Besides, couples break up after several months to a year all the time. How are they to know that you and your girlfriend won’t run into trouble between now and the time of their wedding?
I used to work weddings, and I’m currently planning my own wedding now. Like so many couples before us, we are only inviting couples we know / have been together at least over a year at the time the invites go out. We just can’t afford to do otherwise both budget-wise and because the venue can only fit so many people.