Hi Reddit, so, this is my first post here, and as of about 6 months ago, my brother got into a relationship with a nice girl. She has a daughter, who’s a toddler.
A bit of background on my brother. He does work a full time job, but sometimes he just doesn’t go in, or calls in sick. There was an entire month where he just constantly called in sick, only worked five days and then complained about his pay. He does help put money towards the bills, but to my understanding, it’s not without an argument, or some sort of disagreement. He got a Gaming PC in the flat, and, again, from what I’ve been told, it’s all he plays on for nearly the whole day.
He’s been complaining a lot that he’s been told to stop gaming and help out, especially since they got a puppy, and that now the toddler is going to nursery, which isn’t cheap, and has been arguing with his lady about having to stop gaming to help. I plan to take him out on a day and talk to him about it, and try to make him understand that he needs to help out more. So, would I be the asshole?
Side note: I can’t say relationship titles so what I mean by lady, it’s a relationship.
YTA merely cause at its core, this is none of your business. If your bro wants to be a burden, he is free to and this situation doesn’t affect you. That said, you would be doing the right thing.
ESH – Him for being an irresponsible dude who got into a relationship and has no sense of priorities. Her for moving herself and her kid in with a guy after 6 months, especially knowing he’s an irresponsible mess. You because it’s not really any of your business.
You should take his girlfriend out instead and tell her to do better when choosing the men in her life.
YWNBTA
You may lose more in your relationship with your brother.
How did you come to find out the details of his lazy attitude towards work and their issues with him not helping but just playing games on his computer.
If his lady is the one complaining to you, she may need to rethink her choice in men. That may be where you need to start. It isn’t going to get better. If she works and pays half the bills but he argues / complains about his portion it will only continue and he may quit his job to ‘game’ full time leaving her to support him.
YTA because as much as it might look to you like he simply needs to step up it isn’t that simple. The relationship is fairly new, it’s not his daughter, and he should really think about things before he starts taking on responsibilities and acting like a father. You aren’t privy to all the intricacies of their relationship. There are a lot of things to consider and balance and decisions that will affect the future. It’s not as simple as you telling him to stop gaming and help more. Where does him committing to a relationship with a single mother lead? Is that where he wants to go? Is he really ready to walk down that road long term? (If not, should he even start?)
I’m sure it would be better for him regardless if he cut back on gaming and got his act together regarding his job. It doesn’t sound like he is thinking properly all round, and perhaps he could do with some advice that leaves the final decisions up to him but points out that whichever direction he wants to take his relationship he can’t take things forward in one way while acting as if he is single and without a care in another.
Why can’t you say relationship titles? Anyway, it’s really none of your business since he’s an adult, YTA.
YWBTA.
It’s none of your business OP. His kid, relationship, and his free time is none of your business
You should have talked him out of dating a single mother if his personality does not fit with that lifestyle.
‘relationship’ can have a very broad meaning. If he is dating her then he has zero obligation to help out more.
If the womans expectations are higher than that she needs to move on from your brothers.
This woman is an unfit parent if she let a man move in with her child whim she has been dating for mere months. I hope that poor child has another parent or some family that can help protect her.
She thought she was getting an extra set of hands for raising the kid and money to help around the house.
But she had no reason to think that since she did not know this man, obviously.
> I plan to take him out on a day and talk to him about it, and try to make him understand that he needs to help out more.
Why? This is none of your business.
YTA
INFO
> I can’t say relationship titles
Why?