I (19m) am a first year cybersecurity major. I live in an apartment with 5 other guys, it is 3 bedrooms with 2 people in each. Before about a few days ago, my roommate(18m) and I had never disagreed on anything serious and would just jokingly argue. Anyway, we both have taken an interest in streaming, I am fortunate enough to not have class Tuesday or Thursday but my roommate usually has at least one class everyday. My earliest class is 9 am calculus Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, so I usually try and go to bed around 11:30-12 the days before to get enough sleep to wake up in time. I told my roommate that I do not care if he does anything in the room while I’m trying to/ am asleep but just be mindful of noise. Recently though, with us streaming he will be up until 4 sometimes even 5 in the morning screaming with his friends on Marvel Rivals. This has affected my sleep schedule to the point where I unintentionally sleep through alarms and end up missing class. I brought it up to him that I had been having difficulties falling asleep with him yelling, he apologized and had been quieter the past few nights. But, the other day he had complained about always being tired and missing class. I brought up the fact that he is up way too late (not even to do school work) and that he should try and find a balance between gaming and school, after I said that he got pretty annoyed and said I should worry about my schedule before trying to "force" his into changing. I tried to apologize and tell him it was not my intention to annoy him or force a change, I just want what is best for him. He did not respond and has been giving me the silent treatment. All of our roommates agree that he is unnecessarily loud when it is late, to the point where we can still clearly hear him from down the hall and through closed doors. I feel bad because I do not have class Tuesday and Thursday so I can always sleep in those days. However, I work those days and do not want to waste the early part of the day sleeping. So, reddit am I the asshole for telling my roommate to lock in on school?
nta bro. your schedule is being affected by him, because he isn’t letting you sleep. Your advice to him was completely reasonable, assuming you were polite about it, and frankly if he is giving you the silent treatment over genuine advice he’s a bum. if all your roommates agree he is making too much noise, you guys should come together and do something. force him to sound proof his walls, kick him out, whatever. its ok to stay up late and play video games, but it’s not ok to disturb people at that time.
Thank you. Unfortunately him and I are actual roommates so even if hypothetically we could sound proof the room it wouldn’t help my case much if he’s still 5 feet away. As far as kicking him out, that seems cruel given the situation. He’s a genuinely good dude and this plus his negligence of education is our only gripe about him.
5 feet away? Well damn, I thought it was a different room entirely 😅. Although I understand he’s a nice person, it doesn’t mean he’s a good roommate. Additionally, this is completely something he could control. If it was a medical issue or something like sleep apnea or snoring it would be understandable, but if he’s screaming at a monitor that’s just shitty behavior. I guess you should keep pushing for him to do something about the noise (as well as your roommates), or buy earplugs or something. Again, this is totally not your fault and I think that you and your roommates should hold him accountable for what he is doing
I got my AirPods in on noise cancellation and I can still hear him most times so idk how effective earplugs would be
Honey, comparing noise canceling headphones to noise blocking ear plugs is like comparing your local high school swimming champ to Michael Phelps or Katie Ledecky. Good noise earplugs are radically better at blocking noise than noise cancelling headphones.
“His negligence of his education” is a really bizarre way of framing this, and it’s hugely downplaying his impact on you and your other roommates/flatmates. It’s nothing to any of you that he’s not spending time on school. The problem is that he’s obnoxiously loud long past reasonable quiet hours.
It is both normal and reasonable to have set quiet hours at night that everyone has to respect, so everyone has the opportunity to get a decent amount of sleep. It is also normal and reasonable for there to be consequences to ignoring quiet hours, up to and including being kicked out.
Don’t talk about his schooling. That is completely a him problem, and he gets to decide how much or how little effort and time he wants to invest into it. Stick to the real problem here: his obnoxious, selfish late night screaming sessions are harming all 5 of you, and they need to stop at a reasonable hour, like at worst midnight. If he can’t play without screaming like a toddler who skipped his nap, he’ll need to stop at whatever time quiet hours are supposed to start.
I bet your apartment complex even has designated quiet hours you can use against him. With his howling being so loud and disruptive, you risk getting noise complaints from the neighbors to management, and that could get the lot of you evicted.
NTA for wanting him to shut up so everyone can sleep, but stop coming at it from the bizarre and inappropriate angle of telling him to focus on his schooling.
Not at all! NOR! You were just trying to help him see that staying up super late isn’t sustainable. You’re not forcing anything, just looking out for both of you. His reaction is just immaturity and he’s just acting defensive maybe bc he doesn’t like being called out
NTA he needs to be respectful of your sleep schedule. He doesn’t have to take your advice but he does have to understand how to live with others. I’d put my foot down about the late night gaming if he can’t do it without yelling.
NTA. But if it continues with the noise, than maybe there needs to be a roommate meeting and rules made for when you can play if you can’t keep it down at night. There has to be respect for everyone who lives there. He’s also responsible for his habits and how that affects his school. You reminded him of that and now he has to make some grown up choices which are never fun. He’s just annoyed because you’re right.
NTA, sounds like he needed to hear it.