So I live in a house with three others (partner and step children). I’m autistic and absolutely obsessed with Tarantulas. I’ve never owned one and I would like to. Someone near me has a juvenile for sale with enclosure for a decent price and it’s a easy, beginner tarantula.
My wife and I have just had an argument as "no means no and you’ve already got two dogs". Which in fairness she didn’t want either but does love them.
I feel really upset that she won’t allow me to have this. It doesn’t affect her. She doesn’t even need to look at it. I don’t know what the big deal is. I hate how everyone in the UK has the irrational fear of such a big, beautiful creature. It’s ridiculous.
I’m proper pissed off, but I want to try and emphathise the reasons why she won’t let me rather than being childish and annoyed that she won’t let me.
So what’s the big deal? Would it be a firm no from you Redditors, WIBTA if I just go and get it and bring it home?
YTA. She already gave in regarding the dogs. I wouldn’t want a tarantula in my house, either. Respect other’s opinions and don’t try to bulldoze people into doing what you want.
YTA don’t disrespect your wife. She said no
She’ll probably put you and the dogs out. YTA
YTA. “would I be the asshole if I did something that my wife explicitly told me not to do?”
This is you. This is what you sound like.
YWBA you need to agree with your spouse about what lives in your home, it’s their home too. And for what it’s worth, I would divorce my husband of 20 years over bringing home a giant spider.
Pets are always two yes scenarios. What if something was to happen to you? She needs to be willing and able to take care of the animals in your absence. YTA for trying to force her into a pet she doesn’t want.
YTA
You don’t bring an animal into the household unless everyone agrees, and I say that as someone who has owned a tarantula and loved her (she was a terrible pet though, Goliath bird-eater, notoriously grumpy spiders!
Okay. I’m praying this is fake and rage bait but just in case it isn’t:
First off, Autism has nothing to do with this. So if you’re trying to use that as some sort of excuse or justification you can just stop that right there. The big deal is you’re married so you don’t get to make those decisions on your own anymore. It’s called having a modicum of respect for others. You have a shared space. I think that snakes are gorgeous creatures. I don’t want one in my house.
If you were my spouse and you did this to me, I would play loud noises and overstim you until you cried. Turnababout is fair play. YTA.
YTA. Pets need to be a yes from all adults in the house. She didn’t want the dogs, and you got those. You are being extremely selfish. Knock it off. Your special interest is not an excuse to be an AH.
Wow, YWBTA. If you brought home a tarantula, it would tell your wife you love tarantulas more than you love her, as demonstrated through your willingness to disregard her wishes.
Yes, it does affect her.
It affects her by there being a tarantula in the house.
YTA
Big YTA, I would have divorce papers the next day tbh that’s so majorly disrespectful and selfish
YTA and your autism has nothing to do with it
Isn’t it kinda funny that all it took to get you, “proper pissed” was for your wife to be honest and fair with you? She sounds lovely. She’s compromised on two animals already, and yet you’re struggling to compromise on one. Kinda sad when you think about it, you care so little about her feelings that you’re actively considering prioritizing a creature she fears, and one you’ve never even met!
Don’t you even feel a little bad? YTA
*edit was a missed word