i actually can’t believe i’m even making this post the situation is so ridiculous but here i am
i (22f) am living back at home after graduating college. not ideal but at least i’m saving money. recently my iphone xr that i’ve had since 2019 hasn’t been loading well and crashes for 15-20 minutes at a time when i want to open an app. my mom noticed this and agreed i needed a new phone. she decided to get her and my brother (20m) new phones too and just do another family plan. i contribute my portion, my mom takes care of hers and my brothers since he’s autistic and can’t get a job. the phones were ordered 2 days ago and delivered today. at first i was told that if i wanted to use my new phone i have to buy myself a case. cool totally fine, normal reasonable. a few hours later i got told that i’m not allowed to buy myself a case cause i "don’t have money" when i do have money and can in fact afford a $15 dollar case, i’m just in between jobs about to start my new one in two weeks. i was then also told that i have to wait for my brother to open his phone next week as that’s his birthday present before i can set my new phone up. since my phone hasn’t been working properly and i will be out of the house with friends multiple times before my brother gets his phone, would i be the asshole if i just went ahead and ordered my own case despite being told i’m not allowed?
NTA. You are a grown woman. You can make your own decisions. That includes when to buy something that is within your means and when to use your own phone. That includes not having to wait for your brother’s birthday. It doesn’t matter if he’s autistic. Neither the world nor your life revolves around him.
NAH.
Your mom obviously doesn’t want to ruin your brother’s birthday surprise. She’s making some silly excuses, but that’s her reasoning.
If you buy yourself a case, you will want to use the phone before your brother’s birthday. So no you’re not an AH for buying yourself a phone case, as long as you don’t expect to be given the new phone until later.
As for your old phone, what you need to do is 1.) delete all the apps you don’t actually use or need, and 2.) CLOSE all the apps you aren’t using. iPhones leave apps open so you can use them more quickly, but all the open apps take up processing power even when you’re not using them.
Literally close any open apps before you open a new one. You can survive for a week.