I, 23F, have been friends with K, 28NB for nearly 3 years. We met thru work (we are both in sales at the same company) and have had a very solid relationship. We are close friends, I was part of their wedding party.
Lately (last 6 months), they have been cancelling plans last minute, whether it be work related, or other agreed to plans like hanging out. They say they care about me a lot but it’s begun to feel like they only care about me when their other friends aren’t giving them attention, or when I’m convenient to talk to because I understand their work life.
I know they have a well established friend group of people they have known since high school, and they have made an effort to integrate me into it. It feels like there’s still a bit of friction between the group and me, though. (I am AuDHD and have been known to be “too much” for some people, as I’m loud and don’t mask. It’s been this way since I was young, so this is unsurprising, but an unfortunate feeling nonetheless.)
However, after a recent issue where they backed out of giving me a ride the day of to an event they asked me to go to (and had agreed to give me a ride to initially) because their other friends needed a ride, it’s beginning to feel like I’m just not a priority to them.
I want to talk to them about how unreliable they’ve been as of late, how it’s made me feel, and to try to understand if there’s something outside of my scope that is causing this. I can’t help but feel slighted though, and I worry that in even addressing it, I’d be the asshole for being upset by something that maybe isn’t a big deal in the grand scheme of things.
WIBTA?
NTA your feelings ARE a big deal in the grand scheme of things. The ride thing is just plain rude.
It’s better to discuss things openly and tell them how you feel.