My friend, who I’ve known for a decade since college, and I have been very close. He invited me to be in his wedding party, which I fully accepted. His brother is the best man and is planning the bachelor party. The current plan is to travel halfway across the US, from the East Coast to Texas, to watch his favorite basketball team play in one of the Texas cities in March.
The best man has not really communicated any ideas beyond going there for the basketball game. He mentioned he would try to keep the cost under $600, not including the flight. Even with buying flights about three months in advance, the cheapest option I’ve found is $268.36, which would involve two roughly seven-hour travel days with layovers. That puts the total cost close to $1,000 for a four-day weekend in a place I’m not especially excited about, but I still want to support my friend.
I want to be clear that I am fully capable of spending the money. This is not a financial strain for me. It just feels like a very expensive commitment for something I am not particularly excited about.
We have a group of seven, and one person has already dropped out of the destination trip due to the cost. Everyone else seems to be in the mindset of “it’s up to the groom, so whatever he wants we’ll do,” even though the plan does not feel very thought out.
Knowing the groom as long as I have, and having spent a lot of time with him, plus my experiences with bachelor parties I’ve attended and helped plan, I’ve found that the best option is usually renting a house and just hanging out with the guys for a long weekend. Destination bachelor parties get expensive quickly, and I’d like to offer some alternative suggestions to the best man. I’m hesitant, though, because I don’t want to come across as a buzzkill or an asshole by saying that traveling that far just for a basketball game feels excessive.
Would I be the asshole if I suggested a different plan, or if I messaged the best man directly to say I’m not comfortable with the cost of the trip?
NTA. It seems kinda crazy to spend that kind of money just to watch a basketball game. Is there no way to watch the same team play closer? Ig I don’t really understand why you would all need to travel to Texas to watch a team play when they probably travel to different states regularly.
I’d just reach out and say something like the price is looking to be much higher than the original price point, the travel is going to be long and exhausting, and there’s already at least one of the other party members unable to go due to the price. Maybe suggest seeing if that team is playing closer by or another team the groom likes who would be playing near you, so you could watch the game and also rent an Airbnb or something. The Airbnb may be a compromise for the excitement of traveling and finding a closer game may be a compromise for seeing the exact game he’s brought up.
You could also contact the other groomsmen separately to get their true thoughts outside of just whatever the groom wants. I’m sure there are at least a few others who agree with you. Then multiple of you could approach the best man rather than just you, so it seems less like you complaining and more like a group sentiment.
I’m guessing maybe it’s a March Madness thing (college basketball, not professional)?
Seems like March madness isn’t in Texas this year. Probably a professional game then