My husband cheated very early in our marriage, several years before our son(16) was born. He came clean and made no excuses. I spent several days trying to figure out what to do before deciding to give him another chance.
He and his affair partner have a daughter together(22). This daughter has always been respectful during visitation but I will admit I’m not fond of her.
Fast forward to a few months ago when we found out she got pregnant. My son is quite excited at the thought of getting to be an uncle but I’m not sure I want him anymore involved in her life than he already is. When I talked to my brother about this, he said he understands why I feel the way I do, but that there is no changing the fact that the baby is my son’s niece. That it wouldn’t be fair to deprive either one of them of that relationship.
YTA.
You can’t stop him and ignore his feelings. It’s not his fault that his father cheated and that you chose to stay with a cheater.
You chose to stay together with that man. Don’t take the anger out on innocent parties aka his daughter, your son and your son’s niece
She chose to have a kid with a man who cheated and thinks his first kid is the problem
This- don’t make other people live out the consequences of a decision you regret.
You made your bed when you decided to give your cheating husband another chance. YTAH on this one.
YWBTA and you will damage your relationship with your son. I understand it’s uncomfortable for you but that is quite frankly not your son’s or his sister’s problem. Their relationship has nothing to do with your history with your husband. You can’t punish them for your husband’s mistakes.
YTA
**This is not about you.**
What happened to you totally sucks. But your ex’s kid is not to blame for it. Your son is not to blame for it.
Taking it out on your son and his sister is selfish and petty. They have a relationship and clearly he is happy for it to continue and happy to be an uncle.
You should be supportive of that. And if you can’t be supportive the very least you can do is stay out of the way of their sibling relationship. Your brother is totally right, it wouldn’t be fair to deprive them of that, just because you have a set against her.
Judge Judy’s greatest line to me always came up in situations like OPs. She said you don’t deny children real love from parties willing to give it. It is the worst kind of selfish to do so.
YTA. I understand your feelings but the situation is decades old and not the fault of the daughter, son or the baby on the way. Don’t create hatred and ill-will where none exist. If you still have resentment, you should seek therapy.
YTA you chose to stay and have a kid with your husband and are now getting mad that your son wants a relationship with your husband’s affair baby’s child. You don’t get to dictate that, she’s an adult and your son is 2 years away from being an adult and can make his own choices of who he wants a relationship with. You stayed, stop being bitter.
YTA.
He is 2 years away from being a legal adult. Why create a rift between you and your son over something he wants.
TBH, this sounds like spite on your part and it’s not a good look.
YTA. It’s not this young lady’s fault she was born. 23ish years ago your husband should have kept in his pants until he got home.
And you don’t have to love her, but it’s a shitty way to treat someone because you are mad at your husband.
It’s even shittier to tell your own son how
He needs to limit the relationship he has with his own sister. He clearly loves his sister and he is going to love this baby. Do not stand in the way of that. It’s a wonderful thing for siblings to support each other. How they got here is not their problem.
You don’t need to be involved. But you did make a choice 22 years ago, and embracing all this is probably going to be better for everyone.
YTA
The stepdaughter didn’t do anything wrong, nor did your son, nor did your husband’s grandchild.
And that’s what you’re trying to erase –
Your husband is going to have a grandchild and if you can claim that you don’t want your son involved with his daughter’s child, you can avoid facing the fact that this is actually his grandchild, just as she is his daughter.
You should have walked away when you found out that there was a pregnancy with the other woman.
And instead, you’ve spent your life resenting that little girl – and now you’re all set to resent the grandchild as well.
Get yourself into therapy and figure out whether or not you want to stay in this marraige, because this isn’t healthy for anyone.
YTA all I’ve heard is YOU. YOU don’t like her, YOU don’t want him to have a relationship. HE is the one who is an uncle so it’s HIS choice how involved he wants to be.
You need to rethink your approach before you alienate your son.