After school recently, my high-school-age son (Jake, 16) had to leave the room his club was meeting in to help a teacher. He was playing Clash Royale at the time, and his friend Tommy offered to hold his phone and keep playing for him while he was gone.
While Jake was gone, a third friend, Aaron, came over and wanted to take a turn on the phone. Tommy tried to keep it away (for whatever reason) and somehow the phone got dropped and the back glass got pretty well smashed.
This was a brand-new iPhone 17 that now has a spider-web of cracked glass in one corner of the back, probably about the size of a ping-pong ball.
Jake kind of wants to avoid the awkwardness and just pay to get it fixed himself, but since he doesn’t have stacks of cash sitting around this would involve us paying the $160 in-warranty repair service and charging him $13/month for a year until it’s paid for.
I think he should ask the friends to take responsibility for what they did. Obviously they didn’t do anything actually **bad**. They didn’t throw the phone on purpose; it was indeed just an accident.
Mom thinks that the friendships are more important, and when you let someone use your stuff you’re accepting the fact that something might happen to it. To me, that a) feels like letting people walk over you, and b) letting someone else off the hook for what they should be responsible for–e.g., if I was the one who broke a friend’s phone that I’d borrowed, I would of course feel the need to take responsibility for that and make them whole.
But I’m not convinced I’m right. WIBTA for expecting Aaron and Tommy to pay for the repair?
YTA what kind of responsible adults let’s their kid walk around with a phone not in a protective case. And then let’s that child skirt the responsibility of paying for their own mistake. Be a parent! Stop deflecting responsibility.
NTA
This one is tricky; yes Jake assumed some risk, but he can only assume risk for what is reasonably foreseeable. If he knew his friends were morons that might be careless with his phone, then he definitely assumed some responsibility. If his friends were otherwise well behaved, then they should pay him the full amount. Ultimately though, if I were in your shoes I would make him pay (over time, or in additional chores or something) to help teach him a lesson about responsibility generally.
Also, you should absolutely not let him play Clash Royale. It’s basically gambling, and is designed specifically to get young people addicted to gambling and microtransaction behaviour.
Info: what kind of case was on the phone?
YTA
\#1, if you buy a teenager expensive devices, you the parent are accepting the risk that it could be damaged at any point after you hand it over. As the parent, you indicate you’re ok with the risk of allowing your teenager to manage themselves and be responsible for the device.
\#2 Jake made a mistake in leaving his valuable device behind when he left the room. He should’ve taken it with him, and if he had, none of this would’ve happened.
NTA.
Though your son won’t like it but maybe this will be a lesson for him to be mindful about his device and who uses it.
Alternatively, you could split the cost. But they need to learn from their actions when it comes to handling other peoples items. Can’t pay for repairs? Then don’t touch it.
And please put a screen protector and case on the device if you haven’t done so already. Some people don’t care about items especially ones that are not their own.
NTA but I would maybe talk to the parents about at least having them/kids chip in on it. Yes it was an accident but you should still own up to your mistakes. Make sure that you’re not mad or upset, you just believe that would be the right thing to do and a good learning opportunity for all the kids.
Question: did you not also get a phone case? I’ve dropped my phone countless times and never cracked my screen. I also most definitely would not even hand a phone to a teenager if it did not have a case on it
16 is an awkward age becuase they tend to want the privileges of the adulthood but don’t understand (and often don’t have access to) the responsibilities it also comes with. You’ve stated that if you end up paying for the repair, you actually expect your son to pay for it but you know he doesn’t have the money right now becuase he is only 16 and presumably either not working or working very part time so you’ll cover for him upfront, but then you say you would really expect these two kids to pay for it? That doesn’t make any sense to me. If you child can’t afford this, how could they?
Now, if you expect their parents to pay for it or at least front the money and work out their own payment plan with their kid, then as a parent you need to go talk to their parents. But if your son is ultimately paying for it, then he can either work it out with his friends or chose to buy it himself and you should stay out of his choice.
In the future, the phone needs to have a protective glass over it and a case. That why if (and when) it cracks, you just replace the single layer at home. And also phones can function just fine with cracked glass especially in the back so I’m very curious why you are even bothering to fix this when your kid doesn’t even have the money yet? He can learn a lesson about responsibility.
YTA . Why would you buy an expensive phone for a kid, and not buy a protective case??? These kids didn’t invent ‘dropping a phone’ – it’s pretty much a given that it’s going to happen sooner or later. I would start at the top of the chain of irresponsibility – the parent who didn’t exercise basic common sense – and put the valuable phone in a case.
your son left the phone with a friend. it was broke by accident. so life lesson for you and your son. life happens. tell him to take his phone next time. and why are you buying a 16yo a brand new version of a phone. yta if you expect teenagers to pay for repairs.
One time a friend broke my iphone the day I got it (cases weren’t in stock yet bc it was literally release day) because they picked up the folder it was in without my knowledge. Apple let me get a new one for $150 (didn’t have insurance/applecare). Not sure what the $13 a month fee is, but that’s probably Apple care which wouldn’t be the other kids responsibility.
You could either have a convo with the kids parent or have your son talk to his friend about working out a compromise. That risks ending friendships, and I doubt you have proof the kid broke it.
I like other people’s suggestion about making the son pay it off and learning responsibility.
This is amongst the reasons why schools in my area collect and store phones from kids.
So info: what protective case did you get for the phone? As this will be one of the biggest factors in deciding who’s at fault here.
Yes the kids who broke the phone should pay for it, but if you neglected to buy a simple protective case then you’ll be at fault too.
YWBTA. At the end of the day, he shouldn’t have left it in someone else’s care. He’s assuming risk by doing this. This is a lesson in taking care of your things. He’s not an AH, it was an accident, but it was preventable.
YTA. The phone is your son’s responsibility and he chose to leave his phone behind instead of taking it with him. This was ultimately his fault. He is now trying to take ownership of his decision by accepting the consequence of having to pay for repair AND having to ask you to cover it and be able to pay you back in installments.
I get that you’d prefer not to have to pay that cost but you’re not teaching him anything valuble by refusing to work with him on this.