I (26F) have been job searching and came across an opening advertised by one of my old friends since primary school online, and said "fuck it, why not" and sent a message their way. We haven’t talked much at all after high school, but we were largely on good terms that whole time.
They’re a healthcare recruiter with a small clinic, and the position is a pretty basic lab assistant job that requires no advanced experience. I’ve heard it’s repetitive stuff, but it’s a standard 40-hour 9-5 type gig, which is way more stable than what I’m up to currently. We went back and forth messaging each other, and after a quick interview and some help on their end, I got an offer pretty much immediately with a negotiated wage of \~$3-4/h above the average pay for the position. I’ll start in a few weeks from now.
The problem is that I’m still actively searching for positions more relevant to my long-term career goals, which is not healthcare. I’m hopefully entering a final interview stage with a company within the next couple weeks that would pay a bit less, but open the window for more opportunities in my field.
I’m torn because they went through the trouble of vouching for me and negotiating a pretty decent wage, and as a recruiter I’m sure it would reflect poorly for someone you advocated for to renege before the start date or within a couple weeks of working. But if I did receive an offer from that other company, I think I would want to accept it. Definitely counting my chickens before they hatch here, but…
WIBTA if I backed out? Also, if there are other career-oriented subreddits that would be more relevant to this question, please let me know.
People do back out often but in this situation I personally wouldn’t. Someone you don’t know very well did stick their neck out (only a little but still) to connect you and vouch for you. Also, employers keep records and sometimes talk to each other. Accepting a position only to back out is seen as very poor form in some places and could get you blacklisted. Also backing out may be the end of that relationship and those possible networking opportunities
[Askamanager.org](http://Askamanager.org) is an excellent resource.
I think NTA, you have to do what’s best for your long term goals. HOWEVER you’ll definitely burn that bridge. Not that they won’t be friendly to you but they won’t help you with a job again.
I work as a pet sitter and had a client try to book me but I wasn’t available. They asked if I had anyone I’d recommend. I asked a friend if she’d be interested as I knew she needed the extra cash. She agreed but ended up flaking like the day before. First and last time I referred her. We’re still close friends years later but that’s just something I won’t do again.
NTA, if a lifechanging offer comes along people can’t take it personal when you accept it.
I can’t stress this enough. I tell my work team I enjoy working with them all the time but if something came by that was going to benefit my family that my current employer couldn’t match, I tell them I’ll keep them on my Christmas card list.
Your job is such a massive, massive commitment of time, energy, and resources, that I’d say NTA, do what works for you. Yes, perhaps your old friend used some social capital to get you the job, but it pales in comparison to the commitment of working 2000 hours/year.
You don’t have a decision to make until you have another job offer
NTA. Do what’s best for you. You wouldn’t be the first person to do this. Be prepared that this friendship may suffer though. If your friend is a professional recruiter, though, he knows the drill.
Don’t back out before you get a solid offer from the other company, you haven’t even gotten the final interview yet, there are no guarantees. Better to go ahead with this job, because of the other option falls through, you at least have a job to keep you afloat while you look for something else.
NTA if you get a solid offer from the other company, if it’s more what you want to be doing.
Yes! YTA. You had a friend hook you up with a solod job where you are essentially overpaid, and you are going to bail.
People have been saying for centuries: a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. This is very old established human knowledge. You don’t have another offer. You have a maybe. Go ahead until the offer is there, and make a decision if that occurs. Damaging a friendship and burning this bridge will cost something. Accepting an alternative offer would gain something. You will need to weigh the options if you have them. Declining the offer because you might get a better offer maybe – that seems like bad mojo.!
Take the job you were offered , it builds up goodwill , you checkbook and your skill set. You could call the school friend , be honest you really want to hold out for the other job.
NTA it happens all the time. I used to be a recruiter and never had any bad feelings if someone backed out, even at the end of the process. It is a tough job market, so I wouldn’t buy the cart before the horse.
If that person is a true friend, they would understand you chose a job in your field, and they should be happy for you. If they feel betrayed or whatever, it’s normal. When it comes to your career, you have to do what works for you in the long run.