I’m 24F and have been working in this company for two years and in the youngest person in the office by a lot. One of my coworkers “Jane” (50sF) is more quiet, she snaps very easily and she calls herself a “no bullshit person”.
Im close with the rest of my coworkers, we make each other laugh and sometimes mess with each other. But Jane never does and we accept that.
i try to get along with everyone. One time i brough cookies and found out she’s vegan, so the next time i brought cookies i made her special vegan cookies so she wasn’t excluded and looked genuinely grateful i did that for her. A few months ago she took one of my clients so i sat with her to explain everything and from time to time she comes to my desk to ask for help.
She has never been mean or disrespecful to me personally, but i do know she can be difficult and mean.
So on monday i worked from home and forget my scarf on the office. When i come back on tuesday (Jane’s work from home day) my coworkers tell me that they were going to prank me by hiding the scarf, i just laugh it off, but then they say that Jane said “I bet she’s going to cry when she can’t find the scarf. Take a photo of her when she’s crying and send it to me.” laughing with everyone.
i admit im a sensitive person. I burst into tears once on the office when my dad called me that my grandma was rushed to the hospital and i get glass eyed when clients yell at me. But i didn’t like her “joke” at all.
Yesterday she called me for help with a client and i snapped and said. “I think ive helped you enough, you can do it by yourself.” She told me i was making a hostile work environment and if she messes it up, she will tell our manager.
i’ve thought about telling all this to our manager, but i dont want to be even more hostile. WIBTA if i talk to him about the joke?
Sounds like Jane is right. Lol
NTA. She’ll tell the boss she’s not capable of doing her work without repeatedly asking you for help so you can’t do your job?
NTA do it
I feel like you over reacted. You’ve admitted yourself you cry easily.
INFO: You’re taking office gossip for gospel. Did you even ask her about it before you snapped at her? It sounds like your coworkers don’t like her and may have reason to spin this to make her look bad.
ESH
Here’s where you learn about hearsay and shit stirring.
Your coworkers were going to play a dumb prank on you. The point of the prank is to upset you for “hilarious” reasons. Jane mocked your oversensitive behavior…. along with everyone else that was in on this prank.
Then someone told you about it. So now you have to ask yourself about their motivations. Why tell you about a prank they didn’t play? Why tell you about one person’s comment when everyone involved in the prank was part of being mean to you?
Why are you only angry at Jane?
Info: Did you talk to her about how that comment made you feel, or did you just snap at her from seemingly nowhere? Does she know why you are upset with her?
Idk, I feel like it’s an overreaction on your part, I don’t think the joke was offensive and honestly your reaction to it shows you are a bit sensitive.
Did you talk to her first? Ask what happened or explain why it upset you? If you didn’t and just proceeded to snap,I recommend looking into ways to emotionally regulate.
Now, if she took a client and you have to do a lot of hand holding you are absolutely within your right to be frustrated by that and bringing it up to a manager about how you feel she should be able to work more independently.
When someone wants to play a joke that’s intended to make someone cry, and then to take a pic of that person crying, that’s offensive. It’s not an overreaction to be upset about it.
You will not be doing yourself any favors by telling your boss anything. Honesty you need to toughen up. That wasn’t bad.
Funny how you have no problem with your coworkers planning to prank you but you have an issue with Jane for making a comment, a comment you wouldn’t have even known about if it wasn’t for your messy coworkers telling you.
All of you suck in this situation and the last thing your boss probably wants to hear is you coming to complain about being hurt by a comment you didn’t even hear and therefore can’t really know the tone with which it was said. Jane doesn’t sound great but your coworkers sound like “mean girls”. ESH
YTA. You’re going based on gossip. As you admit in your own responses that you never even asked Jane about it. So you have no grounds to get all snotty just based on hearsay. Just because another coworker ‘confirmed’ it, doesn’t make it true.
If I’m a manager and someone came to me with a story about a bunch of people using company time to sit around and play pranks, and the person being pranked was upset because “they were told” that another person said “take a picture when they cry” because the person being pranked gets “glassy eyed” with tears in client discussions, I would be pissed off for many reasons. “Take a picture” is at the bottom of that list.
ESH
Her joke was not cool. However you didn’t handle it well.
However instead of being passive aggressive about not helping her at work, you should have told her that you didn’t appreciate her joke and did not find it funny. If she apologized, you can move forward. If she doubled down, then you would have to decide if you take a step back from her or go to management.