I’m (21 m) and my roomate is (21 f), we live in a decently big and cheap house, we have another roomate (19 m) and we three have been living here for a couple of months, everything is cool we all get along and have our space. But well this place has 5 rooms but they aren’t in very good conditions, thats why this place was so cheap but i didn’t mind cleaning this place up with help when we got here and buying a couple stuff we needed.
The issue comes when suddently a girl came yesterday without telling us, the landlord told us that a girl left a couple of months ago to live in another city and she left most of the place broken and with food decomposing all over the place. Also she didn’t pay rent most of the time. But well she suddently shows up yesterday and tells us that she is gonna stay here from now on.
We were all pissed but thats that, okay so suddently my roomate told me that what if she tells her ex to come to the city and stay at the last room avilable (thats basically destroyed btw) because he had a fight with his parents and wants to move out from his house into here. The thing is that i basically don’t know anything of this guy and she has been telling me that he wasn’t a good boyfriend and all that. But all of a sudden yesterday she tells me that he is clean and doesn’t make noise and that it’s fine since she knows him. I told her that i don’t care if it’s someone she knows or a random person but that i’m kinda opposed to it because i just don’t want to have less space here. We only have 1 bathroom and even if the house isn’t small i don’t really want to.
She spend some time explaining to me that everything would be fine and that he doesn’t cause any trouble but i thing she doesn’t really catch that thats not the problem, we suddently got more space cut on the house with this random girl and now she wants someone more to join? Idk, i just feel like i’m not gonna be so confortable.
Also she is going to talk tomorrow to the landlord and ask about it, and i just don’t feel like i want that to happen. I find it weird that she talked me bad about this guy but now suddently she has a change of heart about him, i’m a bit concerned about her, i’m sure he isn’t a bad guy but from what she has been telling me these months he isn’t the most trustworthy one, she got into this house because she was originally going to get a house with his bf, but he just dipped out last minute and they broke up.
She is a really nice person but this is the first time that i’m kinda second guessing what she is doing because it feels like she is trying to convince me to give in with comments she makes. I think i need some opinions to clear my mind first because everything just changed in like two days.
You might have a pronoun problem – did you mean to write “her ex” in the title? Regardless, you’re focussed on the wrong issue.
First, tell landlord that former tenant is not moving in, period. This is a terrible idea, and you would set a terrible precedent by allowing landlord to determine tenants withouts your input. You will regret this if you accept it.
Similarly, tell current tenant that all future tenants have to be approved by all current tenants. The issue isn’t that he is your ex, or how you “feel” about him. Take emotions out of the equation. Her being a nice person is irrelevant. The bottom line is that she can’t decide unilaterally who moves in. You and other tenant have to be consulted and agree.
You are young, so learn to advocate for yourself now. Being assertive and being aggressive are not the same thing. If you let people walk all over you, or go against your instincts, then you will find that life is a very hard road to walk. Use your words. Make practical decisions based on logic, not emotions.
NTA
Im confused how the other girl was able to just appear and live there without you and your roomates approval?
Is this one of those homes where the landlord rents rooms, so you don’t have a say in who lives there?
exactly, the landlord rents rooms but she is so detached about whats happening here she even forgets to pay the lights so they sometimes go out and we have to remind her to
Not the asshole. My guess is she wants him back, otherwise why would she try to help him live in the same house as her?
Are you each renting a room or are you on the lease? If there’s a lease, who is on it?
We are each renting a room
You have no say in whether the other rooms are rented.
It is unrealistic to think that the owner won’t want all five rooms rented. You will have to share the single bathroom.
You could influence the owner not to rent to particular people if you can suggest they’re unreliable or otherwise problematic, but it is the owner’s decision.
Info:
What does your lease say? Are you renting a room or the whole house?
Why is your landlord adding people to your lease without your approval?
Whose ex? Your 21f roommate, or this new girl?
None of this makes any sense unless you’re not renting the whole house.
Yeah we are each renting a room and the landlord is an old overworked woman who is desperate for money so she keeps that girl in because she SOMETIMES pays, the new girl is just came out of nowhere, the ex is a guy who i don’t know about
Not totally clearing what the rental situation is with people in the landlord. You either have a lease with X number of people on the lease, or you’ve rented rooms and the landlord has the ability to rent to other rooms. Which is it??
NTA I’m so sorry your good living arrangement has transformed practically overnight.
I think your roommate feels justified bringing in ex since rando girl showed up.
I’d check in with landlord about why rando is allowed back in after breaking things, leaving perishable foods, and not paying rent. How long does she plan to stay? Did the landlord impose this on you without asking? Is rent decreased?
Tell your roommate you didn’t want rando to move in and you sure don’t want to add another person. Have your reasons ready: One bathroom only, no idea what the future’s going to bring with rando girl, and decreased peace and space.
When she insists “it’s okay,” remember to use the word “nevertheless,” as in “Nevertheless, I don’t want to accommodate a fifth person when I was good with three to begin with and now we have a fourth.”
YWNBTA but I’d just let this play out. The girl already has an agreement with the landlord by the sound of it and as you each pay for your own rooms you don’t actually get a say in who gets the fifth room. Let your roommate talk to the landlord and find this out herself.
Info: what is the leasing arrangement? It sounds like the landlord just moved someone in without checking with you, which is weird if it’s a traditional lease. So does that mean you’re leasing individual rooms from the landlord as opposed to collectively leasing out the whole place?