My flatmate (24M) and I (27F) are both PhD researchers who moved in together late last year. I’d been living alone in a studio apartment but desperate to move out because my landlord there was a nightmare and the flat was so expensive that I was really struggling to get by. In this flat I’ve been much happier and healthier because it’s less expensive and more spacious, and we both generally get on well so I don’t want to ruin our friendship.
Shortly after we moved in together my flatmate revealed to me that he plans to do an internship abroad for like four months and will probably try to sublet his room here so that he isn’t paying double rent during those months (and so that he can still keep the room when he comes back since he likes it here). I didn’t feel thrilled because I’d chosen to live alone for a year and then moved in with him (someone I already knew through work) specifically because I HADN’T wanted to live with a stranger, but I said it was okay purely because I didn’t want him to be out of pocket.
Yesterday I came home and he told me our placements manager had told him that the studentship can actually fund all of his rent in the other country whilst he’s on internship! I said that’s one less thing to worry about since he now won’t be paying double rent either way, and he said that he still wants to sublet his room here anyway because he doesn’t want to pay rent for a room he’s not in – in other words he just wants to live rent free (or close enough) for a few months lol, and to get to come back here afterwards. I asked him if he’s going to tell our letting agents that he’s subletting since our contract says he has to ask and he said “no, they won’t find out.”
We’re on a joint tenancy so we’d be equally liable if they DID find out, and I can’t afford to get evicted right now (especially since this would be a faulted eviction that would make it harder for me to rent in the future, and since – unlike him – I don’t have financial support from family to help me out in a crisis like that). I also feel less happy about living with someone I didn’t sign up to live with (since he sprung this on me after we’d already signed a contract and moved in together) now that I know he doesn’t financially NEED to do this. In general the risk (eviction, unsafe/unpleasant living situation) no longer feels worth the reward (him saving money he doesn’t need).
I’m not planning on giving him a flat ‘no’ but I do want to ask him that if he does do this he a) does it officially and talks to our letting agents rather than leaving me alone with the stress of keeping it from them and b) lets me have a say in who he sublets to and doesn’t expect me to just live with any random guy he finds so that I’m at least living with someone I feel safe with.
WIBTA if I made these demands? I feel like I’m being reasonable but need some other opinions because I know he’s going to make out like I’m kicking up a fuss over nothing and depriving him of something