Hi I already feel like I’m going to come across as selfish and materialistic but I still want to know.
My sister and her family live overseas, I have an 11 year old niece and a 9 year old nephew whom I love. My brother and his wife live near me in the same city (we both moved here at different stages of our lives), our parents live a couple of hours away.
Like always I had bought my niece and nephew christmas presents based on what they like (my nephew loves dinosaurs and building stuff, my niece loves fictional books and doodling), and then prepared their gift box. Before I mailed it, my brother had asked if we could send them presents together the 3 of us (me, him+SIL). He delivered a couple of lego sets and added them to my package and we wrote that the entire box was from the 3 of us.
Though it didn’t hit me at the time, the more I think about it, the more I want a distinction between my presents and theirs. I went through the effort to pick the presents based on their likes. WIBTA if I told them which ones were from me and which ones came from them?
This doesn’t really seem like a big issue. I don’t think you’d be an AH for bringing it up, but it also seems incredibly unnecessary to do so in the first place. Why do you even want a distinction between the gifts in the first place?
Isn’t that what gift tags are for? Wrap em and tag em!
I think you need to let the kids know who chose what.
You would be if you make a deal out of it now rather than adding specific tags at the time, as you already sent them from all three of you. Coming from someone whose sister ‘berates’ my three year old with questions like ‘do you know what present I got you? Is it your favourite? It is, isn’t it? Am I your favourite?’, which is uncomfortable and weird, and just saying this has the potential for similar vibes if you make a deal. You got them lovely, thoughtful gifts, that’s all that matters.
If the package is already sent, yeah, YWBTA. If it’s not sent just put tags on the presents that say who each gift is to and who it is from. But to raise the issue after the fact is sort of weird. However, if your nephew calls to thank you for the dinosaur book, you can certainly say “Oh, I’m glad you like it, I picked it out just for you!” Or even ask your sister if your niece like present X because you thought of her immediately when you saw it in the store or whatever. Subtly let them know which gifts were from you. At the end of the day it doesn’t matter as long as the kids are happy and feel loved.
NTA – put gift tags on them. To X from Y.
Not the ah. Just ask “how did you like the “xyz” I got you for Christmas. Easy and respectful.
It’s not like your brother cheaped out or anything. Legos are expensive! Very mild YTA to worry about it.
We always tag gifts with who the are for and who they are from. Why would you not tag who they are from? Gifts from Santa are tagged who they are for with a Santa tag.
NTA Put gift tags on your things
NTA. I’d just say something along the lines of “Brother and SIL picked out the Lego sets, and xyz are from me :)”
This. It can be a casual conversation because OP will be curious how they liked her gifts. Not at all selfish, just curious.
Send your sister a note telling her that you forgot gift receipts for the presents you sent. If any were damaged please let you know.
This! “And I don’t know if brother added a gift receipt for the Lego sets, but if they’re broken, I can ask him if he still has the receipt.”
Just don’t mention that you bought the “big salad.” IYKYK 🤣