So I(18F) have a twin sister. We are both not living at home, and we live about 35 minutes apart in different cities. My sister, I will call her Mandy, is living with her boyfriend(18M).
Before me and Mandy graduated we bought a car from our Nana that we share, but I think it’s important to know the car is in my name on the insurance and ownership. Our agreement was working fine until we both left for college & university. Since I was living closer to my college, I agreed that she could keep the car at her house.
The problem arose when I dropped out of college after the first semester. Mandy takes the bus every single day to university. Her boyfriend, I will call him Ben, works an hour and a half from his work. Me and Ben haven’t always gotten along due to past arguments, but I have no ill will against him and we both consider each other friends. Ben has two vehicles, one of them is a kind of muscle car/fast car, that I will call red car. He bought red car during our first semester. This car is now not able to be driven due to the transmission being busted. His other vehicle is just a regular car that works, except that the AC for warm air is broken. This is a problem because where we live, it is very cold in the winter. IMO buying the red car was a stupid decision because; Ben knew he had to drive an hour and a half to work every day, he is a reckless driver and it takes a quarter tank of gas just to get to his job.
After he stopped driving red car, he started to use my car, which I had no problem with since I was still in school and didn’t have a use for it. If I needed it I would ask. That was until second semester, when I dropped out. After speaking to my parents, we decided that I would get a job and take an online class instead. I have not gotten a job yet, and I want my car back so I can get to and from a job better. I haven’t brought this up to either Mandy or Ben yet.
When I do go home on the weekends I get a ride with Ben, as his work is in the same direction as my home. This has worked well so far. Ben has talked to me about how much easier it is for him to use my car, and I do agree. But he has another vehicle that works, and he made the decision to buy red car. When I ask for my car on occasion, he seems annoyed and demands to know how long I will have it for. I think it’s also important to note that where Ben works, he has access to equipment that he could fix his transmission or AC with. He is not allowed at the moment to do this because of a fight with his boss.
Ben has opened up to me when we drive together about many things, including his concerns about how far away his job is and money issues among other things. I feel bad for him, but at the end of the day he decided to buy red car instead of a reliable one, and when we drove in the other car together once, it was in no way unbearable in the cold even with limited heating, even in the middle of winter. So, WIBTA for wanting my car back?
NTA. I didn’t even read this . It’s YOUR car. Someone is borrowing it .. it’s STILL your car . End of discussion. They should have thought out a way to save up for their own car in mean time .
NTA. It is your car, your name is on the title, and you are on the insurance. Ben is acting incredibly entitled by getting annoyed when the actual owner wants to use their own property.
NTA. It’s your car. You would be liable if he wrecked the car because he isn’t on the insurance. He needs to sell the red car as is and buy something more reliable.
NTA
Will you go back and read what you wrote and tell me how on earth you could possibly be TA? It’s your goddamn car.
First, you should never loan a care because you always own the liability and it can be huge. Second, just go get your car.
YWNBTA. You are hyper focused on the red car for some reason but this situation boils down to you want your car back. It is your vehicle so you are welcome to ask for it back whenever. As you previously said, Ben has a functional car so it’s not like you are messing anything up for him beside chillier rides until the AC is fixed.
NTA you dont even need to ask, just tell him you need the car back. Its yours, hes been borrowing it as a favor and now you need it. The fact that he gets annoyed when you want your own car back is ridiculous
Your car, the end. If you want to be nice, you can give him an advance notice to make alternate arrangements, but you are legally entitled to just drive away in it.
NTA – Just because it’s easier for Ben, doesn’t mean he’s entitled to your car. And he has other options. He could sell one car and use the proceeds to fix the other. He could save money to fix one. For him to own two cars, but claim he needs to use a third that belongs to someone else is kind of nuts.
Truth is, even if he didn’t have other options, you still aren’t obligated to let him use your car when you need it yourself.
NTA
If he has the knowledge to fix a transmission he can fix the heat in his working car much easier and cheaper.
There are also these things called jackets. He won’t start making better decisions until he has to. You need the car more than he does.
Ben I have several job interviews line up over the next few weeks, I am going to need my car back. Thanks. NTA
edit to add the milage he is putting on that car to go to work is insane and dollars to donuts if you need tires, or a repair he will put it on you because “it’s not his car”
He’s a reckless driver and he’s driving your car that is in your name and on your insurance?
You have been extremely lucky so far, if you are in the US you will get sued when this dumbass inevitably does something stupid. He has two cars, tell him to use one of those.
Insurance usually follows the car. What do you think would happen if he causes enough damage that goes over your policy limit? They’re coming after you.
Find a similar model with similar mileage and options, and pay your sister half for her equity in the car so there’s no further issues.
NTA
You might check your insurance policy to see if other people are even allowed to drive your car.
If he’s not covered, what happens if he gets in an accident? YOU would be responsible.
Hey Ben, giving you a week’s notice that I am going to now need my car. That it. You don’t owe detailed explanations. It’s YOUR car.