It might seem like a stupid question from the title but I (20F) am currently deployed and had joined the military at 17, because of that I saw no reason to get off my dad’s phone plan and he is currently the primary account holder. The reason I need it changed is because we originally cancelled mine to keep it to WiFi calling to save money while I was out here, but even with WiFi calling on I for some reason will not receive/or able to make any calls and only receive text from people in my contacts. Because of that I am currently unable to log into my bank account, or credit account as they both require me to insert a code sent to me. I’ve tried reaching out to my bank but I am unable to call them and when I went to try the chat with us feature it wasn’t working (probably because the WiFi out here sucks). And this is a reasonable thing to ask my dad, however just two days ago our Uncle passed away (his father brother) and I feel like an AH for wanting to talk to him about my phone during this time. I don’t even like the fact that I have to think about this at this time. I miss him so much and I wish I could’ve spent more time with him but I got stationed across the states from him so I could rarely visit. I’ve been in the process of trying to buy a home when I return to the states and just got it started when I heard the news, and part of the process needs me to access my bank account. I wanna put this on hold and wait but my Uncle was so happy and so proud to hear of my choice to buy a house, since he never got the chance to. When he was younger he screwed up his credit score and by the time he was getting in a better place he got into a motorcycle accident, he was in a lot pain for a long time and I am happy that he is at peace now, just wish I had spent more time with him. I just don’t know what to do, my dad never understood how close were due to us not talking much, but we had a lot of shared interests and he understood I was never a big talker, so I don’t know how he would take me asking about a phone plan in this situation. Maybe I’m overthinking it or maybe I’m thinking of doing something stupid, idk anymore I barely have any time as it is to think of anything but work while I’m out here but the few times I do this is all I’m thinking about. Any advice would be appreciated. (Please ask me if you need clarification on something, I had to type this out quickly before my supervisor asked where I disappeared to)
ywnbta. get your own phone service and port your number to it. make sure no one is on your bank account but you. change all your passwords. Then tell your dad you got your own service after you are all set up so you don’t lose your number when he reduces his plan. you are an adult and it is time.
Thank you for this, I was thinking about getting my own provider a while ago because the provider he is currently with sucked to be honest and I wanted off, but he kept telling me he would change providers so I stayed on. I suppose it is time I get off.
NAH / there wouldn’t be any assholes here.
If you cancel the phone plan, they don’t consider it your number anymore, so no, you can’t keep using it even over wifi. If you’re getting texts, it’s probably through iMessage or something, right? That can take a lot longer to reassign, since Apple’s the one that has that number associated with your iMessage account.
It sounds like you’ve just figured this out (the hard way), but it’s important to resolve it as soon as possible, because if you don’t, they can give the number to someone else and then you *really* have a headache on your hands.
It’s an important logistical thing, and I think it’s fair to tell your dad that you hate that it’s coming up right now and wish you could wait to deal with it, but it does actually require reinstating your number ASAP, so it can’t wait.
Thank you so much for this information! I’ve been relying on my dad a lot for information regarding my phone plan and he was just as confused as I was as to why WiFi calling wouldn’t allow calls (especially since an agent from our provider told him that it would work). I will try talking to him, I know he’s been talking about switching providers anyway and wanting to wait until I come back but if anything I might just see if I can get my own plan.
NTA. But you can avoid the entire situation by just finding a SIM provider with the required amount of data and changing the number yourself when you sign up. You can then tell your dad to cancel your phone plan.
I don’t understand why you can’t just get yourself a new phone and pay it out of your checking account? Do you have access to a computer with WiFi? Find out what plans they are on and email a carrier. Good luck!
Honestly military members get great discounts.
Hi! I wasn’t sure if I needed to be removed from my dads account before I could look for my own provider so I was hesitant to try that as well, as it would’ve required me to still talk to him about this while he is grieving. I will be looking into it more though as most of these comments have suggested I do.
NTA
I’m sorry for your loss.
Sometimes we have to deal with logistical things at the worst times. That’s life.
If there is a contract with the provider, tell your dad you need to change your plan to x immediately because what you have right now isn’t working. (it might take til next billing cycle but he should start the process now)
If there is not a contract and you want to keep your number, tell him you need him to release your number in the account so you can port it to whatever provider you have selected. (figure this out first and new provider should be able to give you steps to walk him through this if needed)
If there is not a contract and you don’t want to keep your number, set up service with a new provider, swap out the SIM cards, and tell your dad to cancel your old plan.
Thank you. As far as I’m aware I do not have a contract, and will be trying to talk to my dad about releasing my number and will be looking for a new provider. Now it more or less comes down to how I’m going to bring it up to him. The comments have made me realize I wouldn’t be an AH for talking to him about this but I have never been good with wording so I’m afraid of coming across as uncaring/caring more about my situation then the fact our uncle is dead.
You are a man now, in the military and serving our country. You CAN and SHOULD have your own phone plan and manage your own finances. If you can’t do that dont even think about buying a house.
NTA
This isn’t a “phone plan drama,” this is a real-life logistics issue.
You’re deployed, you’re locked out of your bank, and the only person who can fix it is your dad. Needing basic access to your money doesn’t stop being important just because someone passed away.
You’re not asking him to emotionally show up right now — you’re asking for something practical. Honestly, helping you with something concrete might even give him something to focus on during a hard time.
You’re overthinking this because you’re grieving. That’s normal. Just be gentle when you ask, acknowledge the timing sucks, and ask anyway.
You’re not an AH for needing help. At all.