So I’ve been a retail clerk for a while now, and honestly, I put in a lot of effort. My manager noticed and started showing me some managerial stuffscheduling, inventory, that kind of thing. I was grateful for it and took it seriously. But here’s the thing my hours were always all over the place, and no matter how hard I tried, my manager kept telling me I was underperforming. It was demoralizing. I started dreading going in. So when a competing store reached out and offered me an Assistant Manager position, I went through the interview process and got it. It felt like the recognition I’d been looking for but wasn’t getting where I was. When I gave my two weeks notice, my manager didn’t take it well at all. They told me I was being disloyal and ungrateful for everything they had taught me. That hit hard. I genuinely didn’t want to burn a bridge I just wanted a better opportunity and a stable schedule. Now I can’t stop thinking about it. Did I owe them more loyalty because they trained me? Should I have told them I was looking before accepting? I didn’t think so at the time, but their reaction is making me second-guess myself.
AITA for leaving after they invested time in me?
NTA you gave them notice, thank them for the opportunity and move on
NTA, No company has loyalty to you and will fire you or use you if it benefits them, you got a better chance and took it. Old Managers problem, not yours
NTA.
You owe jobs nothing. They are paying for your time and nothing else. The only time loyalty comes into play is for your own business.
Your ex manger did that in hope that you will work even harder, take on more responsibilities, at lower pay scale.
NTA – Sure, they trained you to take on the responsibility of an assistant manager position so you could do the work without the extra pay. You didn’t burn the bridge; you outran the fire and gave two weeks’ notice.
Nta. If he wanted your loyalty so bad, he should have offered the same position at higher pay to you. It’s exactly that simple. But, that was never going to happen. He only trained you in those duties to take some of the load off him without paying you more. Always be wary when management does that: teaches you skills for the next level with no promise of an actual promotion. Take the skills and use them at the next job. You earned that position, never forget that. You did the time, did the work and got your bag.
Thanks for NTA. you are right.
NTA – Sounds like a toxic place and if you were “constantly underperforming” they would have had no problem firing you with no notice of any kind
NTA – and I’d recommend looking into the ‘Ask A Manager’ website by Alison Green
NTA. You do not owe them anything. You did the right thing. No, you shouldn’t have told them you are looking. And no, you shouldn’t feel beholden to stay when a better position comes along. This is your manager showing their true colors. Be glad you are getting away from such a manipulative boss. But watch out, others will try to pull this too.
I would actually point out that you were told that you were underperforming. If you were being trained in managerial duties, it’s unlikely that you were actually underperforming. Probably some weird tactic to make you do more. I would say that I assumed I wasn’t a good fit for the company since I’m always underperforming. 🤷♂️. See what the response is then.
If he wanted loyalty he could have offered you better hours, a better job, or a better pay.
He did not : don’t fret and enjoy your future
NTA. You had a bad manager. Maybe they were deliberately demoralizing, negging and manipulating you, in order to get more work out of you without having to pay you what you were worth. Or maybe thatʻs just the kind of person they are and itʻs not intentional – but that doesnʻt make them any better to work for!
The guilt trip is just one more aspect of the shitty way they were treating you. Ignore the guilt, you donʻt owe them anything for training you (and refusing to pay for the more skilled work!). You did your work well, put in extra effort, put up with them, and gave two weeks notice – that makes you an excellent employee!
As for telling an employer youʻre looking elsewhere, itʻs usually a bad idea:
1. If theyʻre planning to lay you off, they will not warn you in advance. You donʻt owe them more loyalty than they give you.
2. If you do say youʻre looking, itʻs common for them to fire you for that – either immediately or soon after. Even if they donʻt, theyʻll treat you worse and start looking to replace you, whether youʻre ready to leave or not.
NTA. Not the asshole the least little bit.
You worked there. This was your job. Your old manager wasn’t doing you a favor, they were training an employee. And they were training an employee who put in a lot of effort and who took that training seriously. You were an asset to them and that’s why they’re angry that you’re leaving.
This of course doesn’t square with their treatment of you. You didn’t get regular hours and your manager was demoralizing you to the point that you “dreaded going in”. This has all the hallmarks of this manager wanting you to do managerial level work without the pay bump or regular hours. I’d bet a good amount of money that this manager thinks telling employees they are underperforming is a good way to get them to work harder. It’s an abusive tactic, and it works because employees like you are good people who try their best. But it doesn’t usually work for very long.
I think you’ve framed the issue very well yourself: the new company wants you for an assistant manager position. They’re valuing you while your original company is not. There will be issues and problems at the new job too, but it’s a big step up.
Your boss is the asshole here, the very definition of a toxic manager. A good boss would say “we’re sorry to see you go but I can see it’s a good opportunity for you and I just don’t have an opening to match it.” Instead, they’re guilting you and blaming you, like you signed a contract in blood with them because they taught you about the inventory software.
This kind of stuff really sticks in my craw. Employers have so little loyalty to their employees but then expect employees to give it back to them in spades. Behavior like this is abusive, and I’m glad you’re moving to a new job. Keep that hardworking attitude up, and do great things there!