My father is in his late 70s, retired for over 10 years. Recently he seems to have developed an addiction to Facebook reels, so much that he’s scrolling through them for 6-8 hours a day (he only stops when his phone battery has run down)
Because of this he’s no longer paying attention to conversations that are going on around him or programmes that are on the TV. He will also have conversations via WhatsApp and then talk about the same thing in person as if we’d not discussed it. So far for now I’ve not reacted when he claims no prior knowledge of our conversation but for some things he’ll ask the same question over and over again 4-5 times a day. Like, what time are we going out for lunch, things like that.
He can get quite grumpy if someone disagrees with him or corrects him, so how to mention that we’re having the same conversations over and over again in the nicest way possible?
Not to alarm you, but you may want to get him in to see a doctor.. this honestly sounds like what my mother In Law was like when her Alzheimer’s first began.. repeatedly asking the same questions, not remembering conversations or seemingly being confused over things she’s known about, places she’s went..
Sounds like he needs to get screened.
A gentle YTA. It sounds like me may have the onset of memory issues such as dementia al Alzheimer’s.
I don’t mean to be direct but has he been assessed for possible dementia? If not, it might be worth suggesting a trip to see the doctor.
NAH
It’s time to get him to his doctor so you can start talking about dementia, as this is often one of the first signs a family sees of it.
I don’t think Facebook scrolling is the cause. It’s a symptom. It sounds like some kind of dementia. Time to go with him to the doctor to talk about these symptoms.
That sounds like early stage Alzheimer’s.
He is getting grumpy because he is starting to suspect that something is wrong with him and it scares him.
It could be his age, his hearing, dementia or just his guilty pleasure
Take it from someone with lots of experience with this, let it go.
It’s annoying now but trust me, you will miss it
Soft YTA. Have you considered he might be experiencing memory loss due to cognitive decline? He’s at the right age, and what you’re describing sounds like more than mere distraction. It can be frustrating and scary for everyone involved, and people can get defensive if you point out they’re having memory issues because 1) they don’t realize, so it sounds ridiculous, or 2) they have an inkling, which terrifies them. If it is memory loss, you will just have to get used to repeating things over and over. Fighting against it or reminding them that you’ve had this conversation is counterproductive and, often, downright cruel. It’s a situation that sucks all around, but you’re better off getting answers soon than later.
His repeating he same question over and over, and being grumpy when called out on it, reminds me of family members in the early stages of dementia.
Both my uncle and grandmother had Alzheimer’s, and it started the same way: asking the same question repeatedly, exactly the way they asked before, with no clue that they’d already asked it.
The grumpiness reminds me of my mom who had Lewy body dementia, and was afraid to admit her memory was failing her on things she should have known (e.g., she once called me at work to ask about an ingredient in a recipe she’d literally made hundreds of times before).
Getting hooked on reels is low-effort entertainment, where he he doesn’t need to remember plot lines and such.
I’d gently suggest a visit to his doctor for a checkup. You can always give the doctor’s office a heads up that you have concerns, even if you’re not someone your dad allows his medical info to be shared with.
The same question multiple times over may be a sign of something more. It wouldn’t hurt to have a call with the doctor. We saw similar things with my grandmother and that was the early warnings of dementia. It may not be for you, but it can’t hurt to confirm.
Schedule doctor appointments for him with his doctor and an audiologist for screening for hearing loss.The onset of dementia or hearing loss may be causes.
Maybe take him to doctor, instead of asking a bunch of internet strangers if it’s OK to shit on your dad.
YWBTA
Have you heard of dementia? Alzheimer’s? Cognitive decline with age? Have some patience, he’s old.