Hi, the other day my fiancée and I were watching baseball, and the infographic and commentary were showing some stats of Babe Ruth. So I told her (she doesn’t really watch that much baseball), that Babe Ruth was like the Muhammad Ali of baseball. She asked me who Muhammad Ali was and I said you know, Muhammad Ali. She was still confused and I realized she didn’t know who Muhammad Ali was so I said how do you not know who Muhammad Ali is. And I told her about him.
I noticed she was quite afterwards, so I asked if she was good, and she said she was hurt at the way I had been surprised at her not knowing who Muhammad Ali was. I said he wasnt just a boxer, he was a cultural icon so it just took me by surprise that she didn’t know who he was.
Then yesterday she came across something on her Instagram, and was showing it to me. It was about Timothee Chalamet and Kylie Jenner. She asked me what I thought about her, and I said I actually don’t know a lot about her, I know of her, but not why she’s famous. She then feigned surprise and was like you don’t know who Kylie Jenner is? I realized she was still hurt over the Muhammad Ali thing so I didn’t say anything. I didn’t point out that it wasnt really the same thing, Kylie Jenner wasn’t an icon the way Muhammad Ali was, and I had heard of her anyway. But she seems to still be hurt by what I said. Was I the AH?
Edit:
Going to put some of my replies here.
A lot of people are asking about our ages:
I’m 29, she’s 27
And as for how I reacted in the moment:
So when the infographic popped up I said "Babe Ruth is like the Muhammad Ali of baseball". She said "Who’s Muhammad Ali" , I honestly thought maybe she knew multiple important Muhammad Alis so I said you know, Muhammad Ali. And she still didn’t recognize him and again said Muhammad Ali who? And then I just said , in a regular tone, how do you not know who Muhammad Ali is. She said why would I know of some Muhammad Ali. And then I was stunned for a couple of seconds , maybe that showed on my face and then I went over who he was.
INFO: How old are you both?
YTA. You just learned a very important lesson about not assuming that just because you know something that does not mean it is common knowledge. If she has no real interest in sports or sport history why would she know who he is? It may literally have never come up in any context in her life.
to be fair, I have less than zero interest in sports or sports history, but Ali was a larger-than-life character in american culture and has been referenced in movies and music countless times, so I’m still familiar with him
This just makes me think of the XKCD comic where there are two ways to handle someone not knowing a specific reference. You could be an ass and say “How can you not know about this?! Everyone knows about it!” Or you could go in with genuine excitement and go “You don’t know about this thing? Let me share with you how awesome this is.” How did you go about it?
https://xkcd.com/1053/
And MA was an icon, like 40 years ago, at least.
Definitely YTA (I mean OP) far acting like that with a romantic partner.
Yeah, I think the tenor of the conversation is important. OP, be honest, which was it? Because I would definitely be shocked if someone I was dating didn’t know that level of cultural figure, and I could definitely see myself being rude about it and offending them, which would be because I’m an AH sometimes.
I’m more surprised she doesn’t know Babe Ruth tbh
NTA. I’d be surprised, too, and probably not hide it well. I’m a woman (not American by the way) and of course I know who Ali was. I know about Babe Ruth, too, and I’ve never even watched baseball.
NTA– it is pretty unusual to find someone who hasn’t at least *heard* of Muhammad Ali, even if they don’t necessarily know much about him. I would have been shocked too and probably would have responded similarly, as would most people.
Her attempt to get you back with Kylie Jenner was pretty weak, honestly. It’s understandable that she’s embarassed at not knowing who Muhammad Ali was, but Kylie Jenner doesn’t even begin to compare. Also it’s not like you’d never heard of her, whereas she’d actually never heard of Muhammad Ali.
My dad is a college professor. For many decades, he could give an example using the Looney Tunes, or the characters in Scooby Doo, or Batman. There were so many pop culture references that were common knowledge. Now, he struggles to find anything that ALL of his students recognize. What I’m trying to say is, society has become more fragmented. My son can watch content on his specific microinterests on YouTube. He doesn’t HAVE to watch Looney Tunes because it’s the only thing on. Your girlfriend is not unusual. There are simply too many topics to keep up with. NAH, but I would apologize if you made her feel ignorant.
100% this. We are no longer living in a world where everyone is fed the same media content at the same time on tv every night. Media is on demand and algorithms learn what you like and feed you more of that content and less of stuff you never click on.
I have said a number of times, if they stopped making music after 1999, I could live the rest of my life not feeling like I am missing out on anything. I don’t listen to the radio, I listen to my music collection and most of it is pre-2000. I look at the current charts and Grammy nominees and barely recognize anything that I see. Easy to imagine that someone 30 years younger than me would have a much different news/media feed and not recognize cultural figures that have not been a part of any impactful news in the current century.
This sounds like NAH, honestly, just that you’re both being kind of obtuse, and you’d better communicate a little better or you’re going to end up on the rocks.
>I realized she didn’t know who Muhammad Ali was so I said how do you not know who Muhammad Ali is.
Tone matters, a lot, even if you don’t think your tone was insulting, half of it is how it’s taken.
You should probably have a quiet conversation and just genuinely apologize, because she’s clearly hurt. It’s not as hard as it sounds to just say, “Hey, I’m really sorry. I should have been more thoughtful the other day, so it didn’t seem like I was talking down to you. I promise I wasn’t, but I’m sorry I was careless about it.”
NTA
People here who are referring to Ali as just a boxer and not a civil rights icon and the most famous conscientious objector in American history, are trying to make their own lack of knowledge more palatable.
Ali was larger than life. Not knowing who he was is one thing. Even trying to compare your lack of knowledge of Kyle Jenner to him was digging the hole deeper and not realizing it at all.
(I just had the absurd visual of Ali offering a Pepsi to the Vietnamese army)
I don’t even know what planet I’m on right now. He threw away his gold medal to advocate for civil rights. He verbally sparred with the late night hosts of the day. He refused the draft when young men of color were shamelessly being used for cannon fodder. I know all heroes of previous generations fade away, but I never thought I’d see it in real time.