I’m currently leasing a room in a house (the whole house is being rented out), and am beefing with the housemate who lives in the room directly opposite from mine. This started when I was told by the property owner that parking (there are two spots, one is almost always occupied) is first come first serve. I come home earlier than practically any of the other housemates, so my car is usually the one parking there now. The housemate I have a beef with confronted me on like my first week living there, stating that he used to park where I park now for the past three years. I contacted the landlord to clarify any nuances to the ‘first come first serve’ policy (seniority, paying extra, etc.) and the property owner put out a text on the all-tenant chat saying that parking was strictly first come, first serve only. 1-2 months later this housemate comes up to me and casually asks me where I’m going home for Thanksgiving break. We make small talk and find out we’re both going home to the same city for Thanksgiving. He offers to carpool with me to save gas, and "for convenience". I dislike this but outwardly politely decline, explaining that I’ll be taking a bus home. He accepts this.
Now yesterday: I am packing for my bus ride home at around 10 PM when he knocks on my door and asks if I can drive him to the airport because one of his relatives passed away and he needs a ride now. I admit that I was annoyed and told him off rather sharply- that I didn’t know him very well, that I was sorry that his relative died but that I’m not good with night time driving (I’m not) and he should get an Uber. He accepted this, but revealed he knew I was using the downstairs bathroom and told me to stop doing that and instead only use the upstairs bathroom. I nodded, being caught red-handed (see below)
About twenty minutes later I am in the kitchen reheating some food when the housemate comes up to me and suggests that we find a way to share the parking spot. I tell him to talk to the property owner about the first come first serve rule, and he tells me to "Fuck the property owner, we can work something out". I hold my ground, just telling him that he should talk to the owner to clarify the stance on the parking spot. He seems to accept this. Five minutes later he comes back and starts asking me if I have a problem with him. I tell him no, but the airport thing and the parking is a bit much. He then says: "Fuck you, motherfucker" and then leaves.
Am I the asshole here for not agreeing to his parking spot overtures and/or not driving him to the airport?
Regarding the bathroom thing: the property owner told me to use the upstairs bathroom since the downstairs bathroom was being shared between the housemate I’m beefing with and another housemate and his family, but I occasionally slip out to use the downstairs bathroom. This is wrong of me and I totally accept this- I am the asshole in this aspect. But what about the rest?
YTA
You clearly have a problem with the other house mate, but chose to not own up to it. Person had a relative die and needed to get to the airport, you were available and instead of helping out you told him no for what is not really an acceptable reason. If you drive you should be okay with driving at night barring some kind of disability, but that’s a minor part of this.
It sounds like you’ve been passive aggressive and stand offish the entire time y’all have been there. You share a house which doesn’t mean you have to be friends but you should make some effort to get along. The landlord has a first come first serve rule for parking because they want nothing to do with it, not because it’s a strict rule.
You found out y’all both came from the same home town, and could have made some progress in getting over this perceived beef by spending a bit of time together, and saving money at the same time. You refused, and stated you were taking the bus (which comes across like you’re doing so to save money, which carpooling would also have accomplished) instead of being honest that you weren’t comfortable with it you instead lied and said that the only reason you don’t want to carpool is you’re taking the bus.
This person has been living here for 3 years and parking in the same spot, and a new tenant has moved in, disregarded what rules they find inconvenient and been a stickler for the rule that serves them best. Has been stand offish and dishonest. Has rebuffed any attempts to find a compromise or bond in any way. That certainly seems like a pretty big ‘fuck you’ to me.
If you’re going to be living there for an extended period of time you should really make some kind of attempt to get along. Maybe share the parking space. Think about how the things you say maybe sound to someone else.
Or accept that this person is going to think you’re an asshole, and is never going to go out of their way to help you with anything even minor inconveniences.
Honestly, yes and no. Your roommate appears to be trying to work things out in regard to the parking situation between the two of you, and got frustrated when a compromise could not be met. Yes, you are in your right to that spot as per the rules the landlord put in place.
However, due to your schedule being different that your roommate’s, they do not really get many opportunities to benefit from those rules the landlord put in place around parking. You could try and be a nice roommate and compromise with him with the parking. It would be the kind thing to do.
Also, snapping at him when he asked for a favor was kind of a dick move. It is not out of the ordinary that roommates ask each other for help here and there. After you rejecting his offer to carpool (a gesture he probably proposed as a way to try and get to know you better tbh), you snapping at him probably hurt his feelings.
He should have kept a cooler head, and honestly should have been able to take a hint that you are not interested in being social with him. It seems like you two just have different expectations of what roommates boundaries are. Let him know it is nothing personal with him, just that you want to keep to yourself and are not really interested in socializing with other tenants.
I don’t think you’re the AH. You are not comfortable with engaging like that, which I totally understand. I also understand not driving him, as I too have a ton of trouble driving at night. Just because someone wants you to instantly be alone with/trust him, I completely understand. I wouldn’t drive alone with a stranger – regardless if the circumstances – especially at night. You don’t know this person at all.
Maybe over time, and not under pressure, you two could be friendly. I wouldn’t go against the LL on the parking space either – he might pull it from you, or pull it altogether.
YTA. Bogarting the parking space is not cool. Yes, it’s *allowed*, but it’s still rude af. Just because something is allowed or you have a right to something doesn’t mean you’re not an AH for asserting that right when you have an unfair advantage over other people.
NTA. Move.
NTA. Sorry you’re not friends with this person. You owned up to using the bathroom which they tried to use as a way to get you in terms of something in their own head. I’m guessing if there are only two spaces the other roommate is grabbing that so why would he get in your face on it and not their face?
And calling you a MF for wanting you to drive home together and take him to the airport? Please. He sounds a mess. Honestly saying no is acceptable and you don’t need to work something out. I live in a townhouse community so I bet it’s something similar for parking that there’s limited street parking and what not which to me means either the landlord gets another space and or he’s the one that says they need to rotate the spaces. He sounds like he’s trying to intimidate you.
I would try to move out but just stay away from him until then.