I’m 19 and recently started working in an office where we regularly take online assessments or timed tasks using our laptops. There’s a guy who sits beside me during these sessions, and he repeatedly bumps my arm or shifts his chair into my space.
At first I assumed it was accidental, but it kept happening every single time. Sometimes he even leaned slightly toward my screen right after the bump, which made me uncomfortable.
During one assessment, he knocked my elbow hard enough that my laptop moved. I quietly told him to stop. He brushed it off and said he was just clumsy.
It kept happening in the next assessment, so I finally reported it to our supervisor. She moved his seat and told him to be more mindful of other people’s workspace.
Later I heard from a teammate that he was telling others I exaggerated the situation, and a few people said he’s just awkward and doesn’t mean anything by it. But the repeated bumps made it difficult to focus and honestly felt like he was trying to look at my screen.
**AITA for reporting him?**
NTA, why he was doing it doesn’t really matter – it was disruptive and the problem needed to be solved.
You are not the asshole. The co-worker got a warning to stop nudging, but refused to listen.
Was there ever an option for you to move to a different place at work? If not, then it’s 100% the correct move for reporting it.
Thanks! 😊 No, I couldn’t move, so reporting was really my only option.
NTA. It doesn’t matter what the reason he’s doing it is, whether it’s because he has an ulterior motive or is “just awkward.” It was disrupting your ability to do your job and made you uncomfortable so your supervisor was right to fix the situation.
NTA – Even if it was ‘being clumsy’ the first time, it’s a notice for him to be more self-aware the next time. He wasn’t, so you moved up the chain.
Like ‘Hey, you’re stepping on my foot!’
‘Oops, sorry about that, I didn’t mean to.’
And then the person knows to be careful where they put their feet. Same with this dude’s elbow.
Exactly!😊 I tried addressing it first, but he just kept doing it, so I had to move it up.
NTA. At the end of the day, it doesn’t really matter whether he was nudging you intentionally or just awkwardly knocking into you. He was making it harder for you to do your work and possibly reducing your scores (which I assume affects your performance reviews, which potentially impacts your career).
And I say this as someone who is clumsy due to a genetic issue, and married to someone even clumsier. I’d feel awful if I was having that kind of impact on someone; if I couldn’t rein it in myself after being warned it was bothersome, I’d completely understand why someone would want to move and wouldn’t be trying to start drama.
Why is he trying to justify what he claims was an accident?
NTA. If he keeps up this behavior of bumping you, I wouldn’t let it go. Ask someone you trust to watch him do it so you have a witness. Tell your supervisor how disruptive and annoying it is, that he doesn’t seem to do it to anyone else (right?), that the physical contact is unwanted, and that you believe he’s deliberately doing this. **Remember: UNWANTED PHYSICAL CONTACT.** If your employer has any sense, these words should cause them to take the situation more seriously.
You’re NTA and I daresay he would not be so “clumsy” and repeatedly keep coming into the space of an older male coworker if one were sitting next to him.
If he is just awkward and mean nothing by it, then moving him away is correct solution.
NTA
NTA – since you first spoke to him about it personally and only reported him after he didn’t want to change his behavior…
NTA. But i disagree that motive doesn’t matter. He needs to understand boundaries, consent, and personal space. (And potentially not cheating off of you). It’s disrespectful to keep bothering someone while they’re working.
If he can’t control it due to a disability that’s one thing but this isn’t that so yes, intent fucking matters.
NTA. Sounds like the supervisor did the right thing in moving you. Any peer who questions you about it, just say something like, “it’s not a topic I feel it’s necessary to discuss, I did what I needed to in order to get my assessments done to the best of my ability.” If wandering elbows questions you, say “nothing personal but i am not comfortable with physical distractions from any coworker” If he continues to push you (verbally or literally in a new setting), you’ll know it wasn’t an “accident” and he either has something against you or a school kid crush he doesn’t know how to properly communicate, and you should go back to your supervisor and let them know his unprofessional, unwanted, and disruptive behavior is continuing despite you asking multiple times for him to stop and it’s making you uncomfortable.