I (29M) have a cousin (44F) and I’m very close with her and her family depsite living overseas. Last summer I went on a road trip with her son (5M) and her husband (47M). Both me and her kid really enjoyed it.
I suggested that next summer when he’s 6 I take him on short trip to the mountains without them and she immediately said no, stating that the last trip doesn’t count as experience because I wasn’t alone with him. I respect her choice and understand that she has the right to say no but I thought we had a good enough of a relationship to get some reasoning. When I politely asked her why she said no so quickly, she said "he’s not a toy" and that my pushiness doesn’t inspire trust.
I suggested it because I really do care for her kid and thought it would be a nice experience for both of us. I thought it was a perfectly reasonable suggestion considering our relationship. He also goes on trips without his parents all the time, and they’re even preparing to send him to camps.
Clearly, she isn’t on the same page as me. AITA for even suggesting it?
Not the asshole for suggesting it, but I feel like more context is needed. Why is she telling you he’s not a toy and calling you pushy?
My thoughts exactly
Because maybe the author WAS being pushy? Like you said, we need context. In decades past, it would be more likely that the response would be “Great, take him.” Forget about it now.
Tbh I’m wondering the same thing. I have no idea what the toy comment was about and I’m assuming she’s just taking my request for context as pushiness.
How often does she let friends or relatives take her son on a trip? I’m guessing never. I think she’s just being a smart mom. It also seems a little strange that you want to take him on a trip alone, and it may seem that way to her.
NTA but probably naive to what it’s like to spend alone time with a kid that young for a few days.
Instead of offer to babysit while she’s on a date with her husband next time you are in town. Save the road trip for when he’s older.
So…. You don’t babysit, because you live overseas, right? So the child has never been alone with you?
YTA
He has been alone with me before
>When I politely asked her why she said no so quickly
That’s such an odd question to ask because, according to your own account, she had literally just answered that question the sentence before: the reason she said no was that you do not have any solo experience caring for her son
A more reasonable follow-up question might have been, “Huh, that’s a good point. How would you feel about me starting to have some one-on-one time with him? Obviously starting with shorter durations”
N. A. H. for your initial question, but veering into YTA by so thoroughly disregarding her position that you literally asked her for information she had just provided
Yta. She said no and explained but you kept pushing. It was fine to ask but that’s where it ends.