My best friend and I have known each other for around 1.5 years now; we met through an online game and have grown very close despite the long distance. We usually have no problem finding games to play together, but agreeing on what to play has been more challenging lately. We used to play together in our Minecraft world a lot, but we have recently stopped because he has been getting burned out on the game, which I totally understand. He has been saying he feels like playing more fast-paced, exciting games, like Rocket League; meanwhile, I’ve been burnt out of Rocket League and stopped playing. We’ve settled on playing more fast-paced games, such as Valorant or Fortnite, and have even discovered new games to play on Steam.
I’ve been really wanting to play Minecraft lately, but it’s honestly more fun with him, and it annoys me a little that he doesn’t want to. Again, I understand burnout and have felt that way toward games before, so I am not disregarding his thoughts. I understand that many people have the "2-week MC phase," although I wouldn’t really say I play that way, as I’m almost always down for some Minecraft. We’ve had a few disagreements or arguments lately, which have eventually ended in a mutual understanding. We both understand how each other feels and apologize, but personally, I am still not the happiest because the same thing keeps happening. I feel like I am more willing to do what my friend wants than I am to do what I want, and he doesn’t seem to feel the same way. Despite feeling so burnt out and tired of Rocket League, I got back on RL with him, and it turned out to be fun. I suppose my thought is that if I’m willing to play something I don’t enjoy, I wouldn’t have fun doing it because I like spending time with my friends. Couldn’t he do the same for me?
I also do understand that I have been a little more pushy or clingy lately, as I have been having a lot of problems IRL with people I thought were close friends. I am trying to be less clingy or annoying. I’m introverted and very shy/reserved, so friends aren’t very easy to come by. I’m very unhappy with the fact that I pour more of myself out to people than they do to me, which happens a lot. I often find that I don’t receive what I give to others. I’m always the one initiating conversations and plans, and I believe that not many would reach out to me if I don’t reach out first.
I’m not writing this out of spite toward my friend, as I genuinely care for him. I’m just looking for other opinions about our feelings, because this hurts me, and I don’t always want to be arguing with him. Sorry if this is disorganized. Thanks yall.
this is the wrong sub to post this in.
I generally agree with you that relationships entail sometimes doing something that you don’t want to do, or talking about a topic that you are not interested in discussing, for the sake of the other person, but also recognizing that other people might be refusing to do something because they truly are very against it and really can’t bring themselves to do it. They should play that card sparingly at most. If everything has to be his way, you might need to give up the friendship, or at least pull back to only the times that you are both in alignment.
Nta, mostly. I don’t think it can hurt trying to find new games, and while it’s not MC, I think you can probably find new games to love together. And while the game isn’t as fun alone, you might just have to get really experimental playing it by yourself and discover some fun new things to do in it. Maybe you can tell him about the cool new things you’ve learned. Whether he decides to join you or not, that’s really on him. But it might be fun to take some really random and wild directions when playing the game. Maybe make a MC City, with all the details. Or make a world with each different land type, like a bunch of islands. Or- you can do all kinds of stuff you haven’t tried before, but if you find something really fun, I’d tell him about it, but don’t expect him to join you. When I get burned out of a game, I can take a long time to get back in it. Make sure you give him more time to miss it, in case he decides he’s missing it. Forcing it can cause resistance and make him want to play it even LESS. so take it easy and let him decide at his own pace. 🙂
NAH Burnout in video games is different for everyone. Some people can push through and still enjoy the time spent with friends, while for others the burnout ruins everything. If you feel like you’re giving more than your friend, it’s time to set some limits for yourself. It may also be time to set clearer rules in your time together: alternating who chooses the game, which games are off limits, and how to be respectful when it’s the other person’s turn.