I (38M, 25% Greek, 25% Italian, 50% Armenian) and my wife (23F, 50% Eritrean 50% English) recently had our baby (8m, F, I think mostly Greek and English). I’ve been reading her every night for as long as she’s been able to keep her eyes open, basically, and when my wife asked I would usually act like I just wanted to do it for bonding reasons (since she’s with her most of the day), but to be honest I just don’t want the baby to inherit my wife’s accent.
I think it’s very cute and really do love her accent (Egyptian where she grew up), but I worry that if my child is influenced by the way she speaks that she will have trouble getting jobs in the future. We live in America now (where I was born and raised), so I think it’s important she’s exposed to the American accent and reading style as much as possible. I have a friend who’s a linguist and told me this is the "critical period", so I really don’t want to mess it up. I haven’t told my wife directly this is why I don’t let her read to the baby, but I think she’s beginning to catch on and I probably won’t be able to hand wave it forever. AITA?
Yta
What in the racism is this?
YTA. You won’t let your wife read to her child because she has an accent?? Wtf is wrong with you.
Edit: Jesus, just noticed the age gap. You’re just a creepy ol’ racist, huh. One who can’t even do math.
YTA. My parents both have accents even though they’ve been in this country for decades. I had the same accent when I was little. But then I lost it and developed an American accent once I started socializing more with native English speakers. Your child will too. And guess what, asshole, people with foreign accents can still get jobs. Both of my parents have had successful careers in this country. And I became a college professor with three degrees.
YTA you are pretty much saying fuck all to language development. By non exposure you actually cause your child to be less receptive towards accents and other languages. What makes you think you can decide what children’s activities the mother of the child does with her child in the first place when it’s something as harmless as reading to them ? Btw , you already messed up your little plan to hate on your wife’s accent, she is already there the most.
Clearly you hate your wife’s accent otherwise this won’t be a big deal for you.
For an Italian , you don’t treat your wife Italian either. Sorry to say but wtf are you doing ? Neither you act Slavic or Mediterranean and yet you promote it as if those are relevant to a shit position of trying to control your wife while you secretly hate her accent and acting like she is the problem ….
YTA. is your wife meant to not speak to your child also??
She’s with her most of the day, talking to her all day long, reading to her for a bit in the evening isn’t going to change that.
YTA.
You’re so freakin weird, and racist. Wow, I cant even imagine denying my wife something like this, for any reason, much less the most objectively stupid reason I’ve ever heard. You must truly hate your wife, deep down. Why did you have a baby with someone who also wasnt “25% Greek, 25% Italian, 50% Armenian” ?
YTA, and a c\*nt
YTA. Incredibly so. there’s a huge benefit to babies being read to early and often. Not to mention the benefits of cuddling, etc. you’re a massive jerk TBH.
If this is even true, YTA. Plus your efforts will be in vain. Your wife sounds like she is the SAHP, she will be spending so much more time with you child. Kids are sponges, it’s not just reading where they pick up language. In saying all that , if they are growing up surrounded by American accents, this will be their predominant influence.
YTA. Your kid won’t pick up your wife’s accent. She won’t pick up your accent either. In the end, she’ll pick up the accent of her friends and peers at school. (She might code-switch a bit between home and school, but if she’s going to school in America, she’ll talk like an American.)
If your friend the linguist says anything about the risk of ‘confusing’ the child with different languages or accents at home, or recommends restricting linguistic input, then your friend the linguist is not a very good linguist.
Source: another linguist with a specialism in bilingualism.
You should be honest with your wife..so she knows what a bigoted father her baby has. First of all, babies language evolves and changes as they grow up especially considering all the external exposures they will have from socializing and school. Second of all, you should reflect on your internal prejudice that makes you believe that your wife’s accent would/should make her unemployable. If you continue with this mindset, you’re going to raise a child who will have self-hatred about her unique ethnic background and deep-seated insecurities. Do better
Edit: forgot to add, YTA. Massively.
YTA, if this is even real. Dude, that’s not how accents work. My mom has a strong Phillly/South Jersey accent. She read to us every night when we were little. But guess what? Neither I nor any of my siblings inherited it. We grew up in New York, and our accents developed naturally based on our surrounding society. Besides, our dad has a completely different accent since he’s from Boston. We didn’t wind up with that either, just as he didn’t end up speaking like his dad, who is from the Deep South. I also know someone who was raised in the U.S. but whose parents are British and sound like it. Guess who didn’t wind up with a British accent??
Seriously, if this is real you’re both the AH and an idiot. Reading to kids is so vital.
YTA
This is the dumbest thing I’ve read today.
YTA. You are an absolute bellend if you think that is going to make the difference as to a final accent, or frankly for caring about it so much.