Hi, I hope I can get a judgement here.
My wife and I have two kids, and our youngest is 9. He’s a smart kid, good report cards, and very bright.
He had a test yesterday and when my wife asked him about it he said it went very well, it was really easy. He mentioned that a kid next to him was pestering him for an answer to a question when the teacher stepped out. He said he ignored a few times and then just gave the wrong answer. He seemed proud of it and my wife chuckled. I tried to explain to him in a friendly way that its good to help friends otherwise people won’t talk to him, that his friends know and appreciate he’s smart thats why they feel they can ask him. My wife gave me a look and just validated what he did to him.
Later she talked about how she had noticed his face become crestfallen after what I had said. I told her I had said it in a very friendly tone, and that I’m his dad I’m saying it for his benefit. My wife disagrees with me and while maybe I could have said it in a better way, she disagrees with the actual substance of what I was trying to say too.
I want to know that all things considered AITA here or was my wife not considering my point?
YTA.
How can you not see that?? All you’ve done is tell your son not to stick up for himself, that cheating is ok and that he should give in to pressure to do the wrong thing just to make/keep friends.
Wait you’re telling him he should cheat? YTA.
YTA. Please do not teach your small kid that he ‘should’ assist other kids to cheat tests or other work. Academic plagiarism is taken terrifyingly seriously these days, even in settings like high schools or secondary schools. Please don’t teach him he ‘should’ be doing something that could get him into serious academic trouble a handful of years down the road.
YTA
You’re belittling your kid for ultimately doing the right thing. Maybe I read it wrong, but it seems like he doesn’t know the kid anyway. I wouldn’t give someone the right answer, especially if they are non stop pestering me for something that they failed to study on. That shouldn’t be my problem.
YTA – why are you telling your son to cheat?!?!
YTA
Your child helped his friend/classmate cheat on a test-even though he gave a wrong answer. Neither you or your wife acknowledged that that also makes your son a cheater.
And “you have to help your friends so they like you” is even more disgusting.
YTA. You’re telling your son that cheating is okay and he won’t have friends if he doesn’t help them cheat. You’re not helping him morally or socially. What kind of kid are you trying to raise?
YTA. Why are you trying to raise a cheater? That seems really odd.
YTA majorly. a friend wouldn’t ask him to cheat. Those are just people who want to use your child because he’s smart. I’d be super proud if he was my kid that he stood up for what was right and didn’t cheat even when pressured.
YTA. Stop teaching your child to cheat. Why on earth would you ever think that is the right lesson???? If he carries that habit long enough, it will eventually have serious consequences for him.
Everyone op must’ve had trouble in school in order to encourage his son to help others to cheat.
YTA — You basically said hey nerd when people ask give them the answers. Going to be real awkward when you get pulled into a parent teacher conference because he gave a kid answers on the test and when he gets caught he says I am just doing what my Dad told me to do.
This sounds like a fundamental difference in values. Your son and your wife believe in honor, honesty, and integrity. You believe that rules and laws don’t matter when compared to showing loyalty to your group. If you’re going to raise a child together, you and your wife are going to need to work out this difference between yourselves.
YTA
You’re bullying your son into cheating…
What the hell is wrong with you???