(English is not my first language so I apologise for the bad grammar)
My family grew up in a conservative country and later moved to liberal country. Thats where they had me and my sister. I Female, am nearly done with school and just questioning about every religion and my faith. I had a conversation with my dad(47) a few days ago and he told me that he wanted me to start reading the Quran to a Quran teacher. I told him that I would do that but I was not gonna sit down and read the Quran endlessly until I moved out of the house. It would more like I was being forced than willing to read the Quran. He got quite upset at that and soon the tension was just rising. Basically he told me he just wants me to memorise the entire holy book page by page and I told him I don’t want to do that, I don’t see any point in memorising a whole book in another language I can’t understand. It would be better to read in English(I’m just saying English here) since that’s the only language i am also fluent in. Well it ended with him telling me to go to church and I replied with if I read the bible would I memorise it in Hebrew or English and left. I just want some other perspectives and I just can’t understand why it is so wrong to want to read in a language I can understand. I mean, Isn’t that how I can get closer to god? I’m just reading and memorise words that I can’t have a connection with cause I don’t understand. Please don’t be bias and please be respectful too.
NTA. Ex-Muslim here, it’s a canon event sometimes what you’re experiencing lmao.
I once memorized the first 20 lines of The Canterbury Tales to recite in Middle English. Somehow it didn’t have any effect on me, other than still remembering the first four lines.
Your father wants you to do something meaningless. You’d be far better off to spend some time talking with someone who understands the religion (any religion) to learn what it can and can’t teach you.
NTA. I do think that forcibly imposing religion onto your kids I presume when they are struggling with feeling connection to religion itself is 100% the wrong way to go about it (if that’s what I can take away from the introduction), but I know everybody has different relationships with religion for a variety of reasons. It’s also completely reasonable to, if you agree to his request, want to read the Quran in a language that you actively understand and can read; learning new languages takes a lot of time. Unless there’s context I’m missing, def. NTA
NTA
I have to say NAH.
As a revert, I can give you some perspective.
When a child is a hafiz (someone who has memorized the Quran), the parent gets rewards, hence why your father wants you to memorize it. But he also doesn’t get punished for you not having it memorized.
Yes it is better to know the Quran in Arabic, but I would argue that it is just as important to know what it means. Otherwise you are just repeating sounds, not praising Allah.
Allah gave us brains for a reason. He wants us to use them, to question things, and to turn back to Him because only He can give us the answers. The Quran gives us so many ways to be good people, to do good in the world, and that is why understanding it is so important.
It sounds like your dad is coming from a place where memorization is seen as a huge badge of honor or a cultural “must,” but he’s ignoring the fact that you actually want to *learn*. Forcing someone to memorize a book they can’t translate usually just leads to resentment, not faith. Your point about the Bible was actually a really smart way to show the logic: nobody expects people to memorize the Bible in ancient Hebrew or Greek just to be a “good” Christian. You aren’t being disrespectful by wanting to read it in a language you understand; if anything, you’re taking it more seriously than someone just mindlessly reciting words.
NTA. This is where all religion gets toxic: when someone tries to force it upon someone. Religion is fine if it’s a personal choice and it is only focused on how you live your life. It becomes a problem when you think everybody else needs to live that way too. You have every right to deny religion you don’t feel connected to or pick and choose what parts of a religion you want to follow. You should not be forced to memorize any holy book.
NTA The Quaran is pretty short you can probably read it in English in a day or two. If you were learning Arabic that would be worthwhile but learning to recite it without knowing what it means seems like a waste of time to me.
Are you still interested in the religion or no? Because I would say if you are still interested you should learn at your own pace. You can’t jump into reading the Quran without knowing the basics of arabic. Start with learning the basics with arabic (I forgot the book I had but we called it blue book back when I took it in madrasa) then build your way from there into reading the quran. Once you get a hang of it you can start memorizing it and go from there.
You can always search up arabic lessons on youtube to help you or take arabic classes in university. Your fathers approach is what makes people feel frustrated and leave the religion because its rather forceful instead of coming from a perspective of patience and teaching.
Overall if you are still interested you should do what I said above and remember at your own pace.
If religion (any religion) was that good, no-one would ever need to be forced in to it.
I also wanted to give you guys some insight. My culture is very heavily influenced by Islam. In fact most people of my culture will say u aren’t from this country if you’re not Muslim
NTA. Leave, get out of the house. No religion should be forced. Get a place on your own and decie for yourself if you want to be religious or not.
NTA. I think I heard of a tradition of memorizing the Quran, but while that would be an accomplishment, I seem to remember that it’s something that one might do because their faith drives them to it, not because of an external influence.
You father is correct, in that ~~the Quran~~ Islamic *hadith* teaches that those who memorize the Quran will receive blessings beyond those accorded other believers.
You are correct, in that the Quran does not require all believers to pursue full memorization. (Here’s [a Quran teaching academy that agrees with you](https://sisternourhan.academy/quran-memorization/is-it-mandatory-to-memorize-the-quran).) I have known many faithful Muslims who never desired to become *hafiz/hafiza*.
NAH. I wish you good fortune in working through this situation.
EDIT: Corrected erroneous reference to the Quran.