Hi all, this is my first ever post on Reddit so please explain if I’m doing anything incorrectly (like posting in the wrong place, etc). I think I could be TA in this case so I want to get some people’s honest opinions.
My brother (M28) and I (F24) have always gotten along pretty well; I would say we’re close friends. That being said, we are very different people. He’s an introvert, I’m an extrovert, etc.
In recent years, I have grown up and I am proud to say I think I have become a much kinder and happier version of myself. I used to be really bitter about the world, but meeting good people and falling in love with a kind person with similar values has helped me have more faith in it.
Still, I have a strong sense of justice, and I have a hard time not telling people when I think what they’re doing is wrong or just dumb. I don’t want to hurt anybody’s feelings, but I also want to stand up for what I think matters.
Anyways, I recently told my family that I would like them to tell me if they think I’m being too critical, because I’m working on being nice and giving people more grace. That was a week or two ago.
Tonight, my brother mentioned he’s getting a Keurig to make coffee at home. We have a really nice, fancy coffee pot, but he likes the Keurig at work and says he would like the convenience of having one at home, too.
I said that’s unnecessary because we already have a nice coffee pot and single-use Keurig pods are so wasteful.
He got kind of irritated and said this is an example of me being too critical.
I don’t know. Was it really that bad for me to say? I’m glad he told me that he felt criticized, but I’m not sure if that means I should really just hold my tongue from now on.
I know it’s a small thing and it’s obviously not worth any kind of battle (I already dropped it). It just seems so wasteful and I know it will bother me seeing him throw away all those pods.
AITA for being negative about his Keurig?
YTA
>I have a strong sense of justice, and I have a hard time not telling people when I think what they’re doing is wrong or just dumb.
Call it what it is: you have a holier-than-thou attitude, and like to feel superior by telling people what they’re doing ‘wrong.’
Agreed, the whole post is screaming OP being very judgemental and thinking she is always right, like in this example even after giving her unsolicited opinion and insisting about it, she says she dropped it yet in the same post she keeps defending how she was right all along. OP YTA.
Recommend the far superior French press
>I know it’s a small thing and it’s obviously not worth any kind of battle **(I already dropped it)**. It just seems so wasteful and I know it will bother me seeing him throw away all those pods.
Except that you haven’t dropped it, have you.
Are you going to sigh and tut whenever he mentions it again?
Do you tend to repeat yourself where your principles are concerned, even though you are saying the exact same thing to the same people?
If so, YTA.
YTA. Was your brother asking for your opinion in whether he should buy one? No. So what made you think he needed to hear what you think?
YTA he wasn’t asking for your righteous opinion. Believe it or not it’s ok not to give unsolicited advice and keep your judgements to yourself. Next time just nod, say cool or just grunt anything is better.
YTA You are absolutely right but I think you have a history of being difficult about being right so it doesn’t matter. And in a family dynamic it is SO HARD to change “who you are” and so you may just have to accept you can’t say stuff like this to them ever.
YTA – Why are your morals and “sense of justice” focused here? Why are you not out actually finding people to help out of real situations? Or is this a kind of “sense of justice” that you use to justify being judgemental to those close to you?
Eh. I’ll say mild YTA. Just get him a reusable pod and a bag of ground coffee. That what I use in my Keurig. All of the convenience, none of the waste
YTA
It isn’t your issue.
And I bet you never are wasteful by eating out and you pack a lunch for work. Do you really need 5 pair of shoes or more than 7 pairs of pants. I bet I could find thousands you don’t need to spend each year if given the chance.
YTA
Mind yo biz. Also, Keurig has reusable pods for coffee grounds so you can choose to completely ignore the disposable option
YTA. You know you are. For the future, you could have said, we should get those reusable pods, they are cheaper, better for the environment, and you can get more variety of coffees. Which was the issue. Sometimes the best option is to offer a solution that meets their needs not just your opinion.
YTA. Let your brother get what he wants. How would you feel if he criticized everything you did? Nobody wants unsolicited opinions.
YTA. This is not a choice you were asked about or get to make. You absolutely gave an unsolicited opinion on someone else’s plans.
A reasonable, curiosity-driven, non-judgmental follow-up might have been to ask him what about a Keurig he finds convenient. Because if he has coffee available in a pot at home generally, it may actually be that the current communal pot situation isn’t a good fit for his wants.
Does he want a single cup in “off-peak” times? Is it a time issue because he usually needs to start the pot himself and then wait? Does he want 18 different flavors of coffee, tea, hot chocolate, matcha, and mate available to him or his friends at any given moment?
If you are truly interested in trying to find a more efficient (in your mind) means to his goals, at least find out what his goals are before naysaying his solution with no alternatives of your own (beyond what works fine for you).