Long story short, my company put a work training trip on my calendar that is out of state in a few months. The trip is expected to be Mon-Thursday and is essentially mandatory, as we are being trained on a new product launch.
The issue is that my wife is the maid of honor in her sisters wedding and the trip overlaps slightly with the bachelorette party. She has always planned to leave Thursday morning and her trip has been planned for a few months now.
We have two kids (8 & 13) and my wife is furious that I won’t push back with my leadership to cut the work trip early.
Things have been stressful at work lately, under a lot of pressure and I don’t see the big deal as we can easily have help the day she leaves for the trip. My parents can help bring the kids to school and I will likely be home from the trip by the time they get off school, and if not, my parents can assist until I do get home.
AITAH for not pushing back on my boss to cut my trip short?
NTA, I don’t even see the issue honestly.
NTA.
You have people who can watch them; they’ll be in school most of the day; they can do things for themselves and don’t need a lot of handling
I don’t see the problem. Sounds more like a control thing than a real problem.
With the information given, NTA.
Why would she be furious about your parents helping with the kids? That’s what it comes down to.
She’s furious because she feels I am being inconsiderate or ridiculous for not even asking to cut my trip short. But with the stress I’m dealing with at work, I don’t really want to ask as I’m up for a promotion and don’t want to come off as “not a team player”
It would be very inconsiderate if you weren’t promoted and didn’t get the likely raise and bonuses because you couldn’t be bothered to stay the entire training session .
Ask her if you cut things short and don’t get the promotion, would she be so considerate as to pick up the slack/shortfall in lost income.
Getting promoted and making more money for the same amount of time spent is being very considerate and responsible to your family.
Does she work?
If you have child care covered, why should you even ask to make the work trip shorter? It’s risky and not necessary so why would she want you to do it? She’s being weird.
The last day of a work trip is likely the day you will have a meal with those who matter or at least socialize with them. It’s not the day to skip.
NTA
It’s networking day. Don’t skip it!
This is a work trip, not a for-fun vacation. She needs to chill. Unless it is some emergency (which it is absolutely not, as your kids will have sufficient care), there is zero reason to try pushing back on an important work thing, that’d be crazy!
NTA. I understand why she feels stressed because she wants to have a smooth transition for her trip, but its not always possible. If you think pushing back would be a career limiting move, in this economy, I’d trust your gut.
NTA. My partner and I have always had an understanding that if one of us has a commitment (ex. wife at bachelorette), the other is responsible for childcare as a result, but if something important comes up which makes childcare an issue for us both (ex. mandatory work trip), the one of us that was supposed to be around for the kids is responsible for making alternate arrangements. It sounds like you’ve done this. She may be stressed that plans changed, but that’s a separate issue and one you may need to talk to her about. Weddings can be stressful for more than just the bride, and in this case, especially because it’s her sister.
They’re not young children, OP has a perfectly fine solution for childcare that won’t even involve very much logistics which he’s willing to take care of anyway, and wife is in no way prevented from leaving or remaining on her vacation/bachelorette trip. The work trip is mandatory, this isn’t even a question. If this is training for a new product launch, it’s not just for you, it’s for multiple people. They can’t just reschedule. A lot of planning went into this and it’s months away and it’s WORK. Your wife is being dramatic about this, and high strung, this isn’t even a big deal. Nta
NTA. Even if your parents weren’t available, 13 and 8 are big enough to figure out how to deal for a single morning without parents- worst case, I bet they could get rides to school with friends. The grandparents being available means this is just not a big deal at all.
NTA. Stand up for yourself, damn. Could you imagine if your wife had a work trip and you tried to tell her to cancel it so you could go on a bachelor party? lol