Recently, I received a text from a friend at work that made me extremely worried for the safety of somebody very close to me. This text definitely made me feel anxious however I felt like I was strong enough to finish up my tasks. Eventually something struck me and i started to feel very disoriented. As i’ve felt this before, I realized that I was experiencing a panic attack and very quickly I fled to the closest place I could sit down and have some privacy (On my way to this space I alerted my closest coworker that this was happening to me). It eventually passed and I was feeling well enough to go back inside. However I was met by my boss who then told me to “go home” and after I double checked that he was confident it was okay for me to leave, he followed with “we will discuss your future of employment here soon”. Confused, I left. Then comes my next shift, I arrive, finish a task, and then my boss brings attention to what had happened the following night. He claims that he didn’t know that I was in the store and thought that I was sitting in my car. Then, he claims once he knew where I was he was simply confused. He ‘informed’ me that real jobs and serious businesses do not care about “things like that” and stated that he just wanted me to complete my job. I then began to tell him that I was having a panic attack and asked him if he knew what that was or if he had ever experienced one to which he replied “No”. I told him that I wasn’t in control, I could not have gotten up to tell him what was happening because I couldn’t function in the state I was in. He told me that he was not interested and did not care. At this point I was very taken aback considering that it’s a small business and I have always been a consistent worker. Working there almost a year, only having to call out maybe two or three times, usually with covers. I started getting very upset with the way that he was talking to me because it felt very unjust. After he concluded and finished up his rant he then told me to complete another task. In the midst of me beginning this task I turned to a coworker and friend to quickly talk about what happened, and yet again I started having another panic attack. So I dashed out of the door because it seemed like the safest way to protect myself in that moment. Am I The Asshole?
(For more context this is a decently chill job for teenagers to work at, nothing too professional. And I am about 32 years younger than him)
Good for you, walking out after seeing a red flag
NTA, but you might consider that having called out three times in your first year is not something of which to be proud. Many employers would consider that on the edge of unreliable, and your panic attacks at work aren’t going to help your reputation. Reliability is one of the qualities employers value most, and being a “consistent” worker only goes so far in mitigating employers’ perception of your value.
This is a job at a small town pizza place, and I was sick with proof from doctors. But thank you for the alternative perspective
Most full time jobs offer 5 days sick time, so I wouldn’t think calling out 3 times in a year is a lot. Especially with coverage. People get sick. Things happen. That’s normal.
ETA. NTA
Everything else being equal, an employee who misses fewer scheduled days is going to be more highly valued. Is that fair? No. Is it right to treat people badly? No. Is that the way things work in the real world? Yes.
Three sick days in one year is not a lot.
NTA, he was diminishing and disregarding your feelings and what you were experiencing. You deserve to work in an environment that understands you and takes the time to checking in on you. Good on you for knowing your value and respecting your personal boundaries.
Showing up consistently for almost a year matters more than one health crisis. You proved reliability every other day this one moment doesn’t erase that.
No, but it is your responsibility to seek help via therapy, DBT, and medication. Just move forward. Get yourself some supports, and never mention having panic attacks ever again, at work. They look for the weakest and will attack. But start reading, and helping yourself. You are moving on to bigger things.
NTA but for your own sake, if you are not already getting help for the panic attacks, you should seek professional help to deal with them. You don’t want to suffer these attacks and have them impact your ability to live a comfortable, fulfilling life. You deserve better.
thank you so much! I really only experience them once or twice a year but I think my mental state was just naturally weaker because I was still healing from the previous event. definitely working on it 🩷
NTA. You should never feel bad for taking care of your mental health. The fact that you recognised what was happening and how you dealt with it shows incredible maturity
Someone I care about a lot was having a severe mental health issue and it was so bad that I was afraid I was going to lose them. And I had a severe series of anxiety attacks and ended up spending part of my shift finding people close to them who could help them and keep them safe. And my boss just gave me a hug and told me take care of what I needed to that everything was okay on their end.
Your boss is Not The type person that sees other people as people. That is not a good environment for you. I would start looking for something else.