AITAH for short-tipping a waitress?

I tipped a waitress 15%, instead of the current minimum standard of 20%.

When my wife and I dine out, we always tip 20%, or more for excellent service.

We go to a local diner regularly, where all of the waitresses and waiters are great, and the people who buss tables are good hardworking people.

Recently, we had dinner at that diner, and had a waitress that we had not seen before. Her service was subpar, but not bad. She got our drink and food orders right, but didn’t come back to check on us, even though there were few customers, and we had to ask someone else for additional napkins because she wasn’t around.

I intended to still leave her 20%, because I would usually only go below that minimum if a wait person is particularly bad – I’m usually accepting that any person may just be having a bad day.

But, then, while waiting for the check, I overheard this waitress complaining about another employee. She was talking to another waitress well within earshot, complaining that the guy who busses tables doesn’t clear her tables fast enough, and she said that she doesn’t understand why he’s so slow, because she gives him “the standard 15%”, which she made sound like a generous from her. The guy she was complaining about has worked there for a several years, is hard working, and gets along well with all the other waitresses and waiters.

I considered her complaining about another employee within earshot of customers to be very unprofessional, and still would have most likely tipped her the new minimum standard of 20%.

But what bothered me most, is that the standard customer tip to wait staff increased from 15% to 20% decades ago, and I thought that the wait staff percentage to buss staff would have also increased to 20%, the new standard, but was surprised to hear that this waitress is still tipping bussing employees the decades old 15%, and is complaining about them not working hard enough for her for that 15%.

So, I tipped her “the standard 15%”.

AITA?

14 thoughts on “AITAH for short-tipping a waitress?”
  1. I can’t imagine this affecting me so much that I have to write a long Reddit post to find other opinions.

    I suggest you move on and forget about this.

    1. Yeah one time I went to a restaurant and they 1. Moved us after we were seated 2. Forgot our orders 3. After 1 hour+ served us the wrong thing 4. Forgot our desserts 5. The waitress asked us to stack our plates in a super condescending tone

      This was one of my worst service experiences in history and yet I wouldn’t make a Reddit post about it. I actually forgot until this very moment lol

  2. NTA. I’m guessing this is America since you make tipping seem mandatory, but this kind of crazy to read. You’re not TA at all for considering her behaviour to be unprofessional and adjusting your tip.

    1. I still can’t get over the fact that servers are responsible for the wages of the people that work in the back of the house.

      What do you mean if I don’t tip my server, they have to fork how the money to pay the chef???

  3. as a non american i’m now trying to wrap my head around the fact that wait staff also tip staff “below” them argh what is going on

  4. Wow, in my opinion if tips were mandatory in the UK I’d probably not dine out and I’m guessing many would follow suit.
    Either way your were generous

  5. Why are you so invested in the social dynamics of this restaurant staff? Who cares? I’m sure you have better things to worry about.

  6. NTA

    I’m old enough to remember 10% was good. More than that was an excessive show of wealth.

    Some regions it’s even typical to to just leave a buck on the table on the way out. $5 if it’s good. None if bad.

    Tipping has gotten out of hand. Just leave something down and don’t worry about the math. If it’s bad leave nothing. It’s the responsibility of the business to pay workers not customers.

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