I feel stupid for writing this but I guess I don’t know how to feel. I’m a 25yr old F and my ex is a 26 yr old M. We met and dated in high school, we were each others’ firsts for everything. We eventually broke up and dated other people but in-between relationships we would always find our way back to each other and re-ignite the flame .. up until a year and a half ago. which then he told me no matter what happens that I was the one he wanted to marry. He said this while drunk so there’s obviously grey area in that. But I’d like to believe it to be true of course. Nothing really happened between us after that and I fell in love with this amazing person and started dating him, been with him for a year and a couple months now. My ex started dating someone else shortly after I did, and they’ve only been together for 10 months and he proposed to her just this last week. I felt a little shell shocked, sad, and a sense of mourning, and truly guilty for feeling that way at all because as much as I’m genuinely happy with the man I’m with now, part of me had this feeling where it was supposed to be me and my ex at the end later in life. Is it normal to feel this way when your first love is about to be married? Should I reach out to him? I’m lost
I don’t think YTA for feeling this way, feelings are complex. I think you would be TA if you did something about it or told the ex, that wouldn’t be fair to him, his now Fiancé or your new boyfriend.
NAH, this is a pretty normal reaction to seeing your first love getting married. Don’t reach out tho; it’ll just complicate things for everyone involved. Don’t try to re-open long closed doors
NTA. Sad for you too. But you’ve gotta move on now too. Be happy for him and just move on…
Im pretty sure there ist at least in one language a specific word for that feeling.
NAH, no one is an asshole in this situation, i still get a little sting when i see a former love with someone new, even though i would never want to get back to that person.
i think, its important that you acknowledge this feeling but also keep it to yourself or only share it with a trusted friend. dont drag your boyfriend or your ex into it. but if this continuously keeps bothering you for months, then maybe take a closer look at your current relationship.
You’re 25. There’s a lot of “later in life” still to come.
NTA to feel a twinge of the “what if”. As long as it’s not “if I can’t have him nobody else can” kind of jealousy then you’re just normal. Sorry. 😉
Frankly, a 24 1/2 y.o. man drunk-telling a girl that she’s the one he wants to marry doesn’t hold a lot of weight. He’s shown you who he is! Believe him.
NAH
You kept each other in reserve in cause you woundn’t find anyone better – he did, so he has moved on.
But: YOU obviously didn’T, which means your current relationship isn’tr really all that good – more something you set up to pass the time so you were not alone while you waited for HIM. THAT is quite an issue.
NTA you have a right to mourn the loss of a possible future, but do NOT contact the ex. That would be devastating to all parties. Embrace your new future and be happy!!