6 months ago I (21M) moved out of a unit to a share house with 2 other friends (20M,19M).
For a while we organized tasks for each other to do, as well as a shared account.
I was against the shared account because.
1. We can just send our rent directly to the landlord.
2. Bills we can just split and pay to whoever’s name it’s in.
3. Just more steps to something that’s not needed.
We got the shared account, I put my rent money in but refused the bill money, later on a big surplus of bill money was in and I believe it wasn’t necessary.
Obviously savings and emergency funds are smart to have but I manage my own.
Cleaning was also not getting done as regularly as I wanted, admitably I was forgetful in areas, but I actively told my other housemates to keep each other (including myself accountable).
I don’t mind getting told to do stuff I am ment to be doing, but apparently when I point out that there’s been dishes in the sink for a week (one of them is home 7 days a week and is on welfare), I get scolded and say "my standards are too high" "we can only focus on 2 things at once".
One night they came back and said start paying your bill money into the account or your getting taken out of the dinner budget (we pay some money each week to get cooked for, not great food but one less thing to worry about).
They were pissed off for a week or so and when they started getting aggressive and rude I politely said I don’t care.
Considering I got the house I feel mad that stuff isn’t getting cleaned, mind you one of them said "We can both clean the whole house, you don’t need to clean" a month or so ago.
That didn’t last a week, and they also said we need to keep the house dirty a bit so the landlord has things to point out.
I feel like getting the lease transferred to a random crackhead and leaving back to a single bedroom place.
I understand there’s 2 sides of a story but surely not wanting rats is something reasonable, right?
Note: there was once I needed extra time to pay for a bill due to an unexpected situation requiring a lot of money, but I am getting more work now, I did 7 shifts at 3 different jobs over 6 days and working 6 shifts a week on a regular basis.
Sounds like all of you need better roommates. And you need to learn to be one yourself.
living with strangers takes a lot of give and take. but nonnegotiables are: paying rent/bills on time, keeping shared spaces clean and treating each other with respect.
if you cann afford your own place IDK why you’d want to live with people who can’t do the minimum
NTA.
just so you know, those people who you think as your friends are not your friends. they’re barely-teenager-graduates who think they can live on their own when they can’t.
leave them, you don’t need to be their parental figure.
You’re not the asshole — you’re the only one reading the fine print on adulthood. A shared account sounds great in theory, but if it’s just a glorified piggy bank with no transparency or mutual respect, it’s not ‘shared,’ it’s sketchy. And asking people to clean isn’t high standards — it’s basic hygiene. If someone’s home all week and the dishes are auditioning for a biology degree, you’re allowed to speak up. The dinner budget ultimatum was petty, and honestly, if the food’s not great, you might’ve dodged a bland bullet. Sounds like you’re trying to be fair and responsible, and they’re mistaking that for control. Keep your boundaries, keep your receipts, and maybe keep your own dinner too.
Unclear: you say you are no longer contributing to the bill account but are you still paying bill money to the person who pays each bill prior to it’s due date or did you just stop paying bills altogether?
Go back to your own place. Roommates always suck, even when they are your friends.
NTA
Living with roommates is often difficult. I don’t think a mutual bank account is a good idea.