I (f) will be going abroad this year for 3 weeks. I asked my partner (m) today if he would drive me to the airport (which would be a 6 hour round trip, a very long journey, i know) to which he said no and he was shocked that i would even ask that. It ended up in an argument where he can’t see how me asking was a reasonable thing to do.
We’ve been together 5.5 years btw.
I don’t expect him to drive me, i was simply asking. I’m okay to take the train or bus, that doesn’t fuss me. I’m just super surprised to his reaction. I honestly honestly thought he’d be okay with driving me there since we wouldn’t see each other for 3 weeks, it would be our last time to hang out together.
Am i expecting too much from him?
Nta he’s allowed to say no but you’re also allowed to ask. Definitely not an unreasonable thing to ask your long term partner.
Given that, I’d say NAH. Neither party is in the wrong. OP is free to ask, and understands it’s a big ask, and has backup plans at the ready in case partner says no. Partner is free to say “I don’t want to take 6 hours just to drive you to the airport.” No one here is being unreasonable. My wife and I have been together for more than 30 years. This morning, she got up at 5:00 a.m. to drive herself to the airport, a 1.5-hour one-way trip. We didn’t even discuss me driving her. And when I travel for work, same result.
What makes him wrong is that he got mad at her for even daring to ask. That’s absolutely unreasonable.
I’m currently in the car to the airport being driven by my husband of 36 years. Its a 3 hour round trip (but there is a direct train that takes roughly 1 hour.) I will only be gone for the weekend. I offered to take the train. NTA
NTA, but you could offer to drive there and he would drive back. Or go earlier, cut the journey, spend the last night in a cozy b&b and then he drives back from the airport.
Btw: you said you didn’t expect him to drive you, but then say you are surpriaed he didn’t want to. Sounds awfully close to an expectation to me.
NAH it was fine to ask him, and fine for him to say no – that’s a LOT of driving, and you have other transportation options.
NTA for asking. But there are too many variables that could have affected his response. These include but are not limited to when the flight leaves/expected time you need to be at the airport, weather, is it a work day, and/or vehicle condition.
NTA BUT you are expecting too much from him, yes. I live in London, it would take my partner 2 hrs at least to drive me to the airport, then 2 hrs back home at least. I do not ask my partner, I get myself to the airport even if it means a very expensive uber ride, sometimes it also involves me staying at a hotel near the airport the night before and early departure. I’ve been with my partner for a decade, but I don’t expect him to be a free taxi service for me. What an absolute waste of his time, plus your boyfriend would be bored the whole way back. Let the poor guy relax, say goodbye to him nicely at home.
“I don’t expect him to drive me…” “Am I expecting too much from him?” I’d say you’re not expecting too much from him if you don’t expect him to drive you.
NTA. My husband wouldn’t dream of making me go alone if he were able to take me. Especially for a long trip like you stated, it’s your last time to see each other for a while.
YTA, 6 hours? You can’t be serious. Your partner is right.
He was “shocked” when his partner of almost 6 years asked him for a favor?
NTA, but if you plan on having a family, don’t expect to ever get time for yourself, as asking him to watch a kid for a few hours might be also terribly inconvenient for him As long as you keep your expectations low, you’ll be totally fine!
You’re not the asshole for asking and he’s not **inherently** the asshole for saying no depending on what’s going on time and finances wise, but it sounds like his reaction around it was really poor?
Asking is generally kinda reasonable…
It’s just odd.
I will say though I’m kinda side eyeing the “I don’t expect him to drive me, I was simply asking.” and then ending in “Am I expecting too much of him?”
Did he insist on making it an argument? How did you respond to the no, or did he just immediately get upset?
It’s just that even in this comment where we only have your perspective and retelling of what happened… kinda seems like you expected something and claiming you’re not which is a common source of frustration for people.
Do you have a habit of saying one thing and being upset when it’s not actually what you wanted to hear? The idea of him being frustrated because he said no and knew he was going to get pushback or guilt tripped if he didn’t read your mind and say yes isn’t exactly uncommon in relationships.
Just looking at it from every possible angle.
YTA
Get the bus or train.
6 hours is taking the piss