Hi, I’m a teenager having high school problems. š There was a time when we were grouped for an activity in a subject they know I’m active when it comes to participating, and seeing other members, I realized they are not bad at all-some are. After finalizing the group, we decided to start planning now. Most of them are just chit-chatting, etc., while others are asking. (There’s no leader yet) As a member, I decided to start making a plan, so that we can get started. I started by asking them if they had any idea about the topic we’re going to choose, if they have recommendations, and to the point where I’m asking them which part they would do. In the middle of asking, I heard these 2 girls whispering about me saying something about me being/acting always as a leader.
After that, they decided to call their friends that’s in the same group as us and decided to gossip. I ignored it, trying to fix things up by just deciding to let those two girls lead instead- the one girl is the leader and the second one is the assistant leader. All the planning I made with their recommendations including mine, I decided to restart all over. I let them ask me instead, but they just keep saying "I don’t want to be a leader". It’s like whining. Their actions confused me. They talked behind my back, but when I try to fix things up they suddenly disagree? A few days passed, and our teacher told us to continue working on our work. At the end of the period, the teacher asked about our progress and asked who the leader was. We decided to go with the other girl. Packing things up, this one boy, who is their friend (two girls) said, "Ana is the leader, Gail accepted her defeat and loss" (I’m Gail, and Ana is one of the two girls. These are fake names BTW.) He was dead serious when he said that. At that time, that’s the part when I get kind of offended. What does he mean by defeat…
(Please, I need advice and help. If possible, should I try to fix things up? I don’t really get why, because I gave them what they want, and yet they keep gossiping. I don’t know if I’m an ass for this one but I feel like when I’m not in the mood to ignore them, it’s getting on my nerves.)
No group projects suckkk
Imma be real, this sounds like typical high school BS. Just graduated and I’ve never been happier leaving that shithole behind. High school is full of confused people who don’t have any real semblance of self-worth without begging for validation and putting other people down. My advice is to report any issues to a teacher or trusted adult (though it really depends on how bullying is handled in your school, in some cases the administration will do absolutely nothing and blame you for trying to start trouble).
Do whatever is in your power to settle things with them, but I feel like those bums aren’t worth your time. “Deal with it” sounds pretty bad on paper but as someone who’s slogged through multiple projects doing essentially everything on my own AND having my groupmates complain anyway you don’t really have a choice unless you’re willing to sink the ship with everyone inside.
I can only offer encouragement atp so hang in there. High school isn’t forever and you’ll get through this, stay strong.
Good answer! College is more of the same in my experience, people don’t really start to get serious about group work until they’re getting paid to do it and even then you’re going to find a bunch of people who just see it as power plays instead of work that needs to be done.
NTA
Donāt get too bogged down with this, do your workā¦in fact, do more than your work, bc group projects suck and you donāt wanna be caught on the hop when this all turns bad.
Yes, Iām a fan of doing my project on my own, and if the crap hits the fan, I have precisely 0 problems throwing every non-participant under the bus.
NTA
No matter what you do they will keep talking about you behind your back. Take the lead and make sure that the project is done and good enough.
There will always be people who will act like them. Group project in school are not to just learn to work together but also to learn to work with lazy or incompetent or defiant people.
As others has mentioned, group projects are the worst. I donĀ“t find you the asshole at all, people are sometimes just hard to please.
I would consider telling this to your teacher and ask if they could lead a quick brainstorming session on “how to succesfully start upp a group project”. That will put everyone in the same page and hopefully prevent this situation from happening again.
Good luck on your group project.